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Thread: I'm writing a resume     submit to reddit submit to twitter

  1. #1
    Un-Rad Conrad
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    I'm writing a resume

    Do you think people would hire me if I wrote "Excellent poster, BlueGartr Forums" as part of my work experience?

    And before anyone says anything, yes, everyone exaggerates on their resumes, I know I'm only an above-average poster.

  2. #2
    Un-Rad Conrad
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    I'd also put "Expert Troll," but I don't want to blatantly lie at any potential employers.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skirkle View Post
    Do you think people would hire me if I wrote "Excellent poster, BlueGartr Forums" as part of my work experience?

    And before anyone says anything, yes, everyone exaggerates on their resumes, I know I'm only an average poster.
    Corrected

  4. #4
    Old Merits
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    i wouldn't put that you're the boss in it btw

  5. #5
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    I would.
    That's how I got the job I have now... and god damn, I'm satisfied.

  6. #6
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    Like a Boss

  7. #7
    Canadian Fury
    MANITOBA IS NOT A REAL PLACE

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    "Posted my penis, BlueGartr forums"

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiroikage View Post
    "Posted my penis, BlueGartr forums"
    100% Job

  9. #9
    Un-Rad Conrad
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiroikage View Post
    "Posted my penis, BlueGartr forums"
    Oh shit, good idea.

  10. #10
    Users Awaiting Email Confirmation
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    Say you are a boss and they will work for you.

  11. #11
    uncompromising cuntnificence
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiroikage View Post
    "Posted my penis, BlueGartr forums"
    i would also post the resulting evaluations of my penis and attach the pic if i were you.

  12. #12
    Un-Rad Conrad
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    I dunno I was only getting 6-7/10 from the men, and while I didn't get an actual numerical result from the women I might include the phrase "Doesn't have a frankendick" on my resume.

  13. #13
    Jellysaurus Rex
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skirkle View Post
    I'd also put "Expert Troll," but I don't want to blatantly lie at any potential employers.
    What? But that's not a lie, don't sell yourself short bro
    Quote Originally Posted by Skirkle View Post
    I might include the phrase "Doesn't have a frankendick" on my resume.
    You're hired

  14. #14
    Canadian Fury
    MANITOBA IS NOT A REAL PLACE

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    A friend edited my friend's roommates resumes to say that she gave good blowjobs, and she gave it to about 10 different businesses.
    General reply was "This is not appropriate." If she was hired, it might have become awkward quick, though.

  15. #15
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    My last job I had the guy was a MMO player and he asked me what kind of leadership skills I had. I told him I ran a huge alliance on GW and he was like "we need people with leadership skills around here." Customer service job wut LOL

  16. #16
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    lol jk but that would be hilarious

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shiroikage View Post
    A friend edited my friend's roommates resumes to say that she gave good blowjobs, and she gave it to about 10 different businesses.
    General reply was "This is not appropriate." If she was hired, it might have become awkward quick, though.
    ... rofl

  18. #18
    Un-Rad Conrad
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sera View Post
    What? But that's not a lie, don't sell yourself short bro
    But I'm not a troll.

  19. #19
    BRP
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    Putting down Blue Gartr on your resume is like signing your own warrant for arrest and execution. The US Government is trying to oppress and murder anyone who might be somehow connected to me. This is the (only) reason why I haven't gotten a job in 10 years despite being kind enough to explain my situation to potential employers. Fucking Christians.