BG Legal (Illinois) - Crazy ex

[Anso]

This situation is years in the making, I'll be attempting to describe it while literally clenching my teeth in rage and planning a homicide, so please bear with me if some sections need clarification. I apologize in advance if this isn't worthy of its own thread.

About 5 years ago my sister (15 years old at the time) started dating this guy. Everyone was against this relationship, as he is 10 years older than her, and has statutory charges on his record, along with a slew of other charges against him. At the time she started seeing him she was pregnant. The baby is not his, and under the anonymity of the internet I'm going to go ahead and divulge the fact that she was drugged and raped resulting in this child. Anyway, as far as the child knows he is dad, though legally he has no custody rights. A few years down the road she has another child, this one belonging to said asshole. Now their relationship was never golden, ever. They always fought, and did so in front of the kids. These fights were generally screaming matches with broken household items, but sometimes they got physical. Unfortunately, it was never one-sided and the police said there was nothing they could do as far as putting his ass in jail. He eventually became very possessive, clingy, and downright insane. I was called over at one point to mediate a fight between them and when I told him to man up and move on, he responded "She loves me she just doesn't know it." The relationship ended soon after that, when during one fight he choked her until she passed out and left her laying on the floor until she regained consciousness. She filed a police report and went through the necessary steps to file an emergency restraining order. A few nights later, before he had been served the restraining order, he waited for her in the parking lot at Wal-Mart, where she was working the night shift at the time, and grabbed her, dragged her into her car and proceeded to choke her again. She managed to get him out of the car and sped off, running over his foot in the process. He went to the hospital to have his foot taken care of, and was arrested there. Unfortunately, since the restraining order had not been served yet, he did not technically violate it. He was bailed out and a hearing was held last Friday which got continued for 2 weeks. Now according to the arresting officer who was present at the hearing, this is a case of "he said she said" seeing as she was required to park in the back of the building and there were no cameras, and he will likely get off without much hassle.

Now that there is some background out of the way, here is the question out of all of this. After the choking/restraining order incident, my sister was terrified of this guy. I was currently looking for a new apartment, and she requested that I move in with her so she could feel safe. The ex-bf was legally removed from the house at the time, even though his name was on the rental agreement. So I moved in, and have been living here for a few months. He has not/will not come around when I am here, he told my sister when they were together that he is terrified of me. The problem is, he has completed the process to legally be allowed back into the house. My sister is at a loss, she will not be here when he is here but can't stop him from coming. He says he is legally permitted to throw me out too. Is there anything that can be done to keep him out? Can he legally throw me out when my sisters name is on the lease as well and she does not want me removed? Can she file a restraining order again without some type of threatening action on his part?

[Brill Weave]

Get yourself a lawyer.






















And a sock full of nickels.

[Lucavi]

Getting a lawyer should always be the first step.

Now off with ye.

[Xno Kappa]

Sounds like a homicide waiting to happen. Get a lawyer, in the meantime do what everyone else does and hook up with some of your fellas to beat the fuck out of him behind a bar or something.

[Reverend_Tiger]

Is his name on the lease anymore?
If not, and she doesn't want him there, then he is trespassing and just have him hauled off the moment he shows up.

[mallister]

too bad you're not in texas or florida.

[Kerberoz]

I'd have stopped caring about the walking incubator and her various cuckolds years ago.

[tyven]

a) get a lawyer

b) ski-mask up

[Gryffes]

Step 1. Get on a train.
Step 2. Find someone on the train who really wants to murder someone.
Step 3. Swap murders, and make sure you have a solid alibi obv.
Step 4. Profit.

[Guyverarmor]

too bad you're not in texas or florida.

True. That nigga would not have stood a chance here in texas doing that shit

[Churchill]

Didn't read your post, plane ticket and 1000$ fixes your problem

[Cream Soda]

Step 1. Get on a train.
Step 2. Find someone on the train who really wants to murder someone.
Step 3. Swap murders, and make sure you have a solid alibi obv.
Step 4. Profit.

/thread

[AidenCarby]

Gonna agree with ski-masking it up and working this motherfucker.

[Ksandra]

As other people said step one is get a lawyer.

Step two is to bring this issue/explanation to the leasing office. She may not like it, but if what you're saying is true and he's allowed in, sometimes you can break your lease without penalty as long as there is a situation where you feel extremely unsafe. Depending on the landlords, some a reasonable and don't want a homicide on their hands. Even if they won't do anything, if you can front w/e the money is to break the lease, just do it and move out and get a place somewhere else where he isn't on the lease.

What happened with the first restraining order you said she filed?

Also, she better start fighting for full custody of her kids now if she hasn't already.

[miokomioko]

Yeah, what happens when two people are on a shared lease and one gets a restraining order from another?

[vagus]

a) get a lawyer

b) ski-mask up

Word. Need to somehow put the phrase "ski-mask up" into a conversation this week. But yes, what Tyven said is about right.

[Nephlite]

Best thing to do is move out. Barring a homicide, this guy seems intent on fucking her life and yours in the process. Get the fuck out of there and move on.

The police should have locked them both up when the domestic shit started happening. Usually that's a requirement in most jurisdictions if it turns out to be a he said she said deal. In D.C. it's called a Domestic Violence Criss-Cross and though 9 times out of 10 they never get prosecuted, there should still be some kind of record of Domestic Violence and can usually turn the tides in court if there's some kind of history of behavior.

Get a lawyer, move out, and MOST importantly, don't get yourself caught up in it too much. I know it's hard being your little sister and whatnot, but trust me. These things never go easy. ESPECIALLY if the abuser has been empowered by a court ruling or whatever. They NEVER stop. Removing yourself and your sister from the environment will save yourself 90% of the hassle. A lot of times, domestic violence will continue because the victim (or survivor) will continue to live in the same environment for years sometimes because of illusions of making up, "he'll do right, he just didn't mean it." etc. By you getting dragged in to it, it just makes it much worse (ego mostly).

Check out the National Domestic Violence website www.safehorizon.org or call their number on the website. Never know but it might help you guys.

[Fodder]

At the very least lawyer up and get your sis some pepper spray.

If it comes down to it, make sure psycho-boy is fully inside the door before you pull the trigger. Keep shooting until the clip is empty. This is assuming that risk of life or limb for yourself or others is an affirmative defense at your location, one of the things to ask your lawyer about.

Edit: As Nephlite said, take the sis and kids and gtfo. Never look back.

[Mojo]

Seconding what Nephlite said. Some conflicts cannot be resolved without exacerbating them. Tomorrow morning find a lawyer who can help you figure out how your sister will need to proceed in regards to custody of their child, and find a new place for her to live.

[Cleverness]

Get a ski mask, a knife, a proper alibi, and have him meet you in a dark alley. If he's gotten to the point where he's gonna choke a bitch, it's only gonna end with one of them dying unless he is locked up.