2014-15 NFL Week 2: RATINGS WARRIORS

[Mertron]

I was going to make a "Beats By Ray" joke in the title but that would be totally unacceptable.

RUTGERS!

THURSDAY

Rapists vs. Wifebeaters There is no point in discussing this game because Plow is not going to watch it. The Rapists are getting points though, so I am picking The Rapists because they are good at taking things whether you want them to or not. Also The Wifebeaters are good at giving things. Like beatings. So they are ok giving points HOW RUDE

THE SUNDAY!

Dolphins vs. Bills The matchup of two teams you probably didn't think were going to win last week. They both probably wont win this week either to make up for it. 20-20 tie. I will not watch this game because I find the Bills offensive; not because of anything they did, they just suck.

Cincinnati vs. Atlanta The Christmas Connection is offensive to Jews. I was going to do something stupid like this for every game but Jesus Fucking Christ (offensive) there are like 94 games to write about. The moral of the story is I'm retarded (offensive to retards). Its time for the short, short version since none of you will read this anyway.

New Orleans vs. Cleveland KATRINA STRONG

Tennessee vs. Dallas Seriously Katrina was a pretty strong storm. Romocopter

New England vs. Minnesota shitass tom bardy vs. adrian deterson

NYG vs. Arizona daggummit

Redskins vs. Jacksonville Yeah lets protest and not watch this game either. Not because of the Redskins controversy, but because both teams are bad.

Carolina vs. Detroit Your mother is so old and fat that when God said "Let there be light," the next words out of his mouth were "Tell that bitch blocking the sun to get out of the way."

Seattle vs. A Whale's Vagina Calling them a whales vagina was funnier in my head. I immediately regret this decision.

Tampa Bay vs. St. Louis Dude seriously how many games are there

Denver vs. Kansas City Dude

Green Bay vs. NYJ Seriously

Houston vs. Oakland If you asked me if the Texans first round pick was starting this week, I would reply "That's a Clowney Question, bro."

San Francisco vs. Chicago Tyven should have made this thread. This will teach me to check BG.

A MONDAY!

Indianapolis vs. DRAM TRAM Lost in the Redskins controversy is the fact that Indianapolis has the word "Indian" right there in the name. They deserve to lose this game until they change the name of the town to something cool like Sexytown.

BUT SERIOUSLY LETS NOT WATCH ANY OF THESE GAMES, THATLL SHOW EM!

Edit: I believe I am contractually obligated to include a gif of something in this post so here

[Boyiee]

A-

[Boyiee]

Editing in the gif bumped it to an A.

[Krandor]

Watching that gif the Bucs are clearly no longer Schiano Men.

[Cail]

Would read again

[Dimmauk]

Best Thursday game analysis ever

[Dimmauk]

The Just wait vs possums game is game of the week.

[tyven]

spaghet ur a great

[Cail]

Per Scheft

Cardinals LB John Abraham is suffering from memory loss and has been for well over a year, per sources. Could be end of his NFL career.

[Boyiee]

Just heard after his concussion Monday night he walked out this week and may have left the team entirely.

[Adajer]

You spelled TV wrong.

[Headspace]

Bengals selling Devon Still jerseys with all proceeds going to Cincinnati Children's Hosptial and Pediatric Cancer Care and Research. It became the fastest selling Bengals jersey in team history. The Saints organization bought 100 jerseys.

[Mertron]

only 100? jerks

[Cutriss]

Bengals selling Devon Still jerseys with all proceeds going to Cincinnati Children's Hosptial and Pediatric Cancer Care and Research. It became the fastest selling Bengals jersey in team history. The Saints organization bought 100 jerseys.

Is there any specific reason they did that, or is it just charity?

[Headspace]

Is there any specific reason they did that, or is it just charity?

Stills 4 year old daughter was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. They cut him and signed him to PS so he could have insurance and could travel to her therapy treatments. He was good enough to be on the 53 tbh. Guessing they're using this story as a way to raise money for the local children's hospital which is a really good hospital.

[Cail]

AP reporting law enforcement did send the elevator video to the nfl in april

[tyven]

GET OUTA HERE ROG

[Abandon]

[Cail]

Tyler Eifert out at least 8 weeks. Sorry Headly

[Xajii]

AP reporting law enforcement did send the elevator video to the nfl in april

The person played The Associated Press a 12-second voicemail from an NFL office number on April 9 confirming the video arrived. A female voice expresses thanks and says: "You're right. It's terrible."

Bye Goodell. And probably bye Ravens brass too.

Lying fucks.