2014-15 NFL Divisional Weekend: Holy Fucking Refball, and the NinjaLotter Challenge

[Bregor]

i cannot believe a helmetless dezter was able to get all call over turned. The molezter is an unstoppable force

I have no problem with Dallas's win over Detroit on Sunday. You can pinpoint the DPI flag that was picked up and say it swung the momentum for the 'Boys. But considering that Donkey Kong Suh shouldn't have even played in that game before his suspension was reversed, I'm not going to shed any tears for the Lions. After going up 20-7, the Lions allowed a 10-play, 80-yard touchdown drive, went 3-and-out, and gave up a field goal before the now infamous non-penalty. Immediately afterward they punted the ball for a net of 10 yards and gave up an 11-play touchdown drive where they were called for two defensive holding calls. Sure, the picked-up flag hurt, but Detroit just lost the game, plain and simple.

NinjaLotter

The Sports Moderation Team has decided to issue you a challenge for your forums survival. You may not post about Tom Brady or Peyton Manning in this or any other thread for one week. If you can go an entire week, from 1:00pm EST today until 1:00pm EST on the 13th without mentioning Brady or Manning, you may continue to shit up the NFL threads with whatever you would like to post about, within the other rules of the forum. If, however, you cannot contain yourself and simply must repeat your well-established feelings about these two players, you will be banned from BlueGartr forums forever. The scope of this challenge includes mentioning either player by name or making reference to them in other ways, i.e. "the Denever QB", "the guy throwing bombs to Demaryius", "the UGGs posterboy", "Gisele's husband," and so forth. What constitutes a reference to said players is completely at my discretion. You are allowed to talk about any other aspects of the Patriots, Broncos, and their respective playoff games during the challenge.





Week 17:

M/L: 9-7
ATS: 9-7

Last week:

M/L: 4-0
ATS: 3-1

Overall:

M/L: 170-89-1
ATS: 132-124-4


SATURDAY, JANUARY 10TH

4:35pm EST, NBC

Baltimore at New England (-7) - Two years ago the Ravens tore through Indy, Denver, and New England en route to winning the AFC and eventually the Super Bowl. Can they do it again? Despite their winning ways and Joe Flacco's playoff elite-ness, I have some concerns. First, Justin Forsett and the run game are slowing to a crawl. Outside of trampling a disinterested Cleveland defense, the Ravens backs haven't given Flax much help. Also the secondary is suspect. They just gave up 334 yards through the air against a Le'Veon Bell-less Steelers team. And while New England doesn't have a receiver like Antonio Brown on the roster, Edelman and LaFell do well enough on the outside with the attention Gronk gets in coverage. In short, Flacco will need a repeat performance of January 2013 for the Ravens to go anywhere after this week. The last time we saw the Patriots, Janeane Garofalo was dumping the ball off to someone's feet. How will Shit-Ass Tom Bardy respond to his two-week layoff? And more importantly, how will New England contain Flacco? The pass defense has the big names and decent numbers, but their schedule has been soft based on opposing passers. They had a murderer's row of Cutty, Peyton, Luck, Stafford, Rodgers, and PRivs in the middle of the year, but their divisional opponents don't exactly light it up and they also faced the noodle-arms of Kansas City, Oakland, Cincinnati, and pre-Teddy Minnesota. Flacco and the Smith Brothers should present a decent challenge, but unless they start giving up chunk yardage to Forsett and must commit to stopping the run, I think Revis, Browner, and company will be fine.

Gameday forecast: high of 26ºF, clear

Ravens Gif of the Year:



Patriots Gif of the Year:



Patriots win, Ravens with the points.


8:15pm EST, FOX

Carolina at Seattle (-11) - There must be some rule about 7-win teams making it out of the Wild Card round. Carolina's defense had the easiest layup in NFL playoff history with the Ryan Lindley-Kerwynn Williams-led Arizona attack that managed just 78 yards on 47 plays. The sad thing is they were actually losing at halftime until Fozzy Wozzy put them up for good with a 39-yard scamper for TD. You can look at the results from the Panthers' current five-game win streak and say they're a Good Team™, but the quality of their opponents has been pretty forgiving. And sure, they played the Seahawks tough during the regular season, but that was in Charlotte. Heading into Seattle, I have no doubt that the Seahawks will be in full 12th Man Mode. Their defense has allowed single-digit scores for three games straight, and they're a perfect 3-0 against Carolina since Russell Wilson arrived. My only hesitation in picking the spread is Seattle's offense, as 11 points is a lot when I'm not sure either team will even make it to 11. Then again, Marshawn Lynch has been consistently productive to finish the season. Still, they only have the 27th ranked passing offense, so under 40.5 could be a strong play here.

Gameday forecast: high of 49ºF, cloudy, small chance of rain

Panthers Gif of the Year:

http://media.giphy.com/media/yjGdFY7...Q0xy/giphy.gif

Seahawks Gif of the Year:



Seahawks win and cover.



SUNDAY, JANUARY 11TH

1:05pm EST, FOX

Dallas at Green Bay (-5.5) - I'm going to say good things about Dallas now, so prepare your anus. FOX was kind enough to use its telecast as a re-educational tool, to drill into your mind how bad we all thought the Cowboys were going to be this season. And looking back, I was a part of that hivemind, and it's easy to see why. Their personnel decisions on defense were pretty questionable, and with Sean Lee ded for another season, no one thought they could get enough stops to make a difference. Defensive coordinator Rod Marinelli deserves a ton of credit for getting the unit to play well enough between DeMarco Murray and Molezter touchdowns to win 13 ballgames. Offensively, they have the same problem Pittsburgh has. Their triplet stars are all top-tier at their position, but if one of them falters it could affect the entire offense. Pittsburgh floundered without Le'Veon Bell, and if Green Bay is able to limit DMM and Dezter like Detroit did, it will put a lot more pressure on Romo. Of course, Dallas has a pretty awesome security blanket in Witten, but counting on Terrance Williams for 92/2 isn't a good recipe for success. For all of Aaron Rodgers' success, his numbers dip slightly in the playoffs. Of course he still has a 103.1 passer rating and 19 TDs to 5 INTs, but it should be noted that AR12 isn't automatic. In fact the Packers haven't played in the NFC title game since 2010-11 when they won the Super Bowl. Green Bay will look to lean on Eddie Lacy, who had 126 yards from scrimmage against a tough Lions defense in week 17. If Lacy can get established, then Dallas will have real trouble accounting for him running the ball and the Nelson-Cobb tandem in the passing game. One last thing is the cold, as we haven't had the privilege of Romo and the Cowboys playing in January too often. How will they react? Will Murray freeze in place and then literally shatter into a thousand pieces? Only if Clay Matthews knows the code for the fatality, I guess.

Gameday forecast: high of 19ºF, partly cloudy, small chance of snow

Cowboys Gif of the Year:



Packers Gif of the Year:



Packers win and cover.


4:40pm EST, CBS

Indianapolis at Denver (-7) - I hate storylines like this, but here we go. This will be the third time Manning and Luck square off since this:



and the first time in the playoffs. Luck was the difference in both previous games, but it's pretty much the same recipe against any team. When he turns the ball over, Indy is very vulnerable. When he doesn't, they win a lot. He had great numbers (4761 yards, 43 total TDs) and not-so-great numbers (16 INTs, 6 fumbles lost) this season. But with a run game featuring Daniel Herron and something called a Zurlon Tipton, Luck took control against Cincy, throwing for 376 yards with no turnovers, including an amazing TD strike to Moncrief while on the run. Indy's defense played well enough, but going from an AJ Green-less Bengals team to playing in Denver will be an adjustment. Peyton Manning and the Broncos have been great at home, but it's now COLD WEATHER PEYTON time. He had a decent game last time out against Oakland, but only 3 TDs and 6 INTs in his last four games is cause for concern. He's been listed with a thigh injury, and there's always a question about how his ankles and his neck are holding up. Denver will need to continue using CJ Anderson to great effect. Logically, Anderson's emergence should open up Demaryius Thomas and Emmanuel Sanders for huge games, but while Demaryius has topped 100 yards for three straight games, Sanders isn't producing as consistently. Unless the offense magically reclaims their mid-season form, this will be a nail-biter. And if the game is close, I have the most faith in DeMarcus Ware and Von Miller putting pressure on Luck when it matters.

Gameday forecast: high of 40ºF with quickly dropping temperatures, cloudy with fog, small chance of rain

Colts Gif of the Year:



Broncos Gif of the Year:

http://usatthebiglead.files.wordpres...ng-dancing.gif

Broncos win, Colts with the points.

[Cail]

The Sports Moderation Team has decided to issue you a challenge for your forums survival. You may not post about Tom Brady or Peyton Manning in this or any other thread for one week. If you can go an entire week, from 1:00pm EST today until 1:00pm EST on the 13th without mentioning Brady or Manning, you may continue to shit up the NFL threads with whatever you would like to post about, within the other rules of the forum. If, however, you cannot contain yourself and simply must repeat your well-established feelings about these two players, you will be banned from BlueGartr forums forever. The scope of this challenge includes mentioning either player by name or making reference to them in other ways, i.e. "the Denever QB", "the guy throwing bombs to Demaryius", "the UGGs posterboy", "Gisele's husband," and so forth. What constitutes a reference to said players is completely at my discretion. You are allowed to talk about any other aspects of the Patriots, Broncos, and their respective playoff games during the challenge.

LOL

[Abandon]

that is the best section of a post ,ever.

[wipers]

Can we bet on how long till "you know who" fails this challenge ?

[Cail]

Seahawks win and cover.

Also LOL

[Rhyis.]

Hilarious.

[Chrius]

Cowboys forever

[Cail]

Bregs, check out Black Adam Schefter on the facebooks. Hilarious Browns video, seeing you wont be friends with us

[Xajii]

>you cannot mention these 2 QB who have games this weekend

o-ok

[wipers]

http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images...jpg?1319572325

[Bregor]

>you cannot mention these 2 QB who have games this weekend

o-ok

If I wasn't clear in the OP, the challenge only applies to NinjaLotter.

[BadKarma]

http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images...jpg?1319572325

http://giant.gfycat.com/InferiorIncr...Foxterrier.gif

[tyven]

MAN I AM HYPEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FOR THIS WEEKEND. lelz good luck to you ninja lotter. i've actually grown pretty attached 2 u. pls don't fuck it up

[wipers]

He can't be here right now he advised me they are doing a sequel to John Adams. (John Quincy Adams)

[Chun Liroy]

http://cdn.bleacherreport.net/images...jpg?1319572325

But he's already a dad so this joke don't make funny.

[tyven]

gdi chung

[Chun Liroy]

I'm great at parties

[Adajer]

yep

[Krandor]

I eagerly await NinjaLotter's opinion on Luck and Flacco

[Tarage]

Can we bet on how long till "you know who" fails this challenge ?

I eagerly await NinjaLotter's opinion on Luck and Flacco

He's not even gonna post this week I bet. He's just gonna write the forum off as a loss and troll elsewhere.