RNC 2020: You’re Damn Right This Deserves Its Own Thread, Drinking Game Edition

[Mertron]

If 2016 taught us anything, it’s that the RNC for the foreseeable future is going to be an absolute shitshow, and everyone posting on this forum appreciates a good shitshow (except for the mods, who won’t let us post threads about acclaimed Sundance films).

So folks, let’s get ready for the fantastic orgy of retardation that is the 2020 RNC: let’s go to the list of speakers!



Monday: Oh man. This is the day that made me want to make the thread. Gaetz! Jordan! The dude that got shot playing softball! Don Jr AND Girlfriend! The Gun Couple! CHARLIE KIRK! The RNC may think these are all lightweights opening on day 1, but this is the true gauntlet of stupidity to get the week off on the right foot for schadenfreude.



Day 2 is a bit subtle but has some sneaky gems in here. We have Melania, who might just end up reading some poor grad student’s dissertation on stage, maybe the gun girl, who somehow was not invited. The Covington Kid speech should be hilarious. What the hell is Tiffany going to say, or will she get bumped due to time constraints? Will Rand Paul get hit with a steel chair by his neighbor mid speech?



They can’t all be zingers, folks. Wednesday looks to be a bit of a dud. I wonder if Kellyanne Conway will still speak with her stepping away from her post. Also, I spent the last ten minutes looking up why the hell she has the prefix “The Honorable” next to her name, as I was not aware failed comedians were afforded such platitudes. Perhaps woman Pence will stand behind the VP and slap him with a ruler should he say “dang” or something otherwise outrageous.



The final day might not have a lot of hilarious speakers in total, but the ones they have pack quality over quantity. Obviously Trump will be hilarious (he might actually speak every day!), and Dana White might slip some gems in there. But folks, Rudy is speaking today. This is the super bowl of idiotic speeches; just look back at his “I just discovered I have hands and must use them nonstop to make up for lost time” speech from 2016. This is the main event!

Speaking of main events, you will see lots of drinking game ideas for the RNC this year, such as:



Folks, I care about you. Look at that list. If you play any of these games, you will die, even if you’ve been drinking every day during quarantine. I propose a much simpler game.

Drink every time someone says:

Socialism/Socialist
Communism/Communist
Marxism/Marxist

If any speaker uses two of those terms interchangeably during their speech, drink for ten seconds.

If any speaker uses ALL THREE interchangeably, that’s the god damned money shot, finish your beer. Charlie Kirk will ALMOST CERTAINLY do this on day one, so get your liver ready.

GOD SPEED

[Mertron]

why yes i do know what the word platitude means but couldn’t think of the right word at 2am so whatever

[Tyche]

The Kellyanne Conway stuff is crazy. Her daughter wants emancipation due to physical and verbal abuse at the hands of Kellyanne and George. She's saying her mom only wants money and fame and has ruined her children's lives as a result.

[Mertron]

Ruined them by making them star in a French film about twerking, or the normal kind of ruined?

[Xno Kappa]

I’m here for the gang bang.

[Cail]

Your thread is redundant

Also where was the DNC thread? Typical

[Byrthnoth]

I'm waiting for Tiffany's speech endorsing Joe Biden.

[D44kpunk]

I'm waiting for Tiffany's speech endorsing Joe Biden.

Tiffany who?

[NynJa]

This will induce alcohol poisoning to anyone who partakes in this.

[Krandor]

I enjoy all the typos in the drinking game graphic

[Dimmauk]

OMG, YOU GUYS, I THINK TRUMP IS GOING TO MAKE A SURPRISE APPEARANCE!

[Zealot]

All that tap dancing and no invite for Candace Owens but Kim Klacik makes one fake video and she gets on the list, what a world.

Also I don't know if it's been posted elsewhere but it was resolved by the RNC that there is to be absolutely no platform, the only topic will be re-electing Donald Trump.

[Dimmauk]

Nah, they will play their greatest hits. Abortion, 2nd Amendment, Socialism, etc...

[Byrthnoth]

Someone get those establishment assassins away from Our Dear Leader. I don't think his ol'ticker can take 3 straight days of fellatio.

[Vaspinne]

The Kellyanne Conway stuff is crazy. Her daughter wants emancipation due to physical and verbal abuse at the hands of Kellyanne and George. She's saying her mom only wants money and fame and has ruined her children's lives as a result.

George also part of the Lincoln Project of conservatives against Trump just makes things extra fun in that household

[6souls]

https://twitter.com/TheDailyShow/sta...54423785201665

The lack of Nutmegger from Mert's drinking game is a fail.

[Byrthnoth]

T-1 day to Tiffany's Biden endorsement.

[milez]

This shit cringe as fuck lol

Sent from my SM-J727T1 using Tapatalk

[Mertron]

I only watched Charlie Kirk and he did not say socialism marxism or communism so I no longer want to watch, my thread is a failure

[Mertron]

also he said absolutely nothing about anything trump accomplished or anything about policy so sounds about right

he did say we should spend more time building churches instead of casinos, so, lol