"Lay off mah cookies" (Wii mote choking)

[Senji]

statesman.com | Man accused of choking girlfriend with Wii controller | The Blotter

Man accused of choking girlfriend with Wii controller

http://alt.coxnewsweb.com/shared-blo...ri/alvarez.jpg

An Austin man has been accused of trying to choke his girlfriend with the cord of a Wii video game controller after she became angry that he had eaten all of her Girl Scout cookies, according to an arrest affidavit.

Christina Alvarado told Austin police that she woke up her boyfriend, Daniel Alvarez, 21, Monday morning after discovering her cookies were gone, according to the affidavit.

Alvarez became upset that Alvarado woke him and began to yell at her, according to the affidavit. Alvarado told police that Alvarez got her into a choke hold that lasted several seconds before she was able to hit him in the eye to break free, according to the affidavit.

The two struggled until they ended up in the living room, where Alvarez grabbed a Wii controller, according to the affidavit. He put his knees on her chest to pin her down and strangled her with the cord of the video game controller, according to the affidavit.

Alvarado was able to free herself and call 911. Alvarez fled the home but was arrested soon after, according to the affidavit. Alvarado had a faint mark from a cord around her neck, shortness of breath, trouble speaking and was coughing when police arrived, the affidavit said.

Alvarez remained in the Travis County jail today with bail set at $40,000. He is facing second degree felony charges of aggravated assault with serious bodily injury, which is punishable by up to 20 years in prison.

[archibaldcrane]

An Austin man has been accused of trying to choke his girlfriend with the cord of a Wii video game controller after she became angry that he had eaten all of her Girl Scout cookies

is probably the most hilarious first line of a news article I've ever read.

Also:

Alvarado had a faint mark from a cord around her neck, shortness of breath, trouble speaking and was coughing when police arrived, the affidavit said.

What an attention whore.

[Nitsuki]

I was actually hoping that he choked her by shoving the wiimote down her throat.

I'm disappointed as the wiimote + nunchuck cord CAN BE DETACHED!

[Mizango]

Bagel why?

LM-17 in RL as well.

[Souj]

according to the affidavit, the affidavit said that the according to the affidavit he chocked a bitch the affidavit said.

[MrW]

Bitch woke him up because he ate all the cookies? Aww lawd! I'd choke a bitch out for that too. She couldn't have a) gotten more or b) waited till he had woken up?

[archibaldcrane]

Bitch woke him up because he ate all the cookies? Aww lawd! I'd choke a bitch out for that too. She couldn't have a) gotten more or b) waited till he had woken up?

As soon as she realized the cookies were gone, she should've immediately fired up the stove to cook another batch, hoping to complete them before he woke up and discovered her mistake (allowing the cookie supply to run out).

[Bagel]

Bagel why?

LM-17 in RL as well.

Bitch ate my fucking cookies, had it coming. Good thing prison has wifi

[Kael]

As soon as she realized the cookies were gone, she should've immediately fired up the stove to cook another batch, hoping to complete them before he woke up and discovered her mistake (allowing the cookie supply to run out).

^ This is the correct response.

[Kajii]

that guy's awesome lmao

[MrW]

As soon as she realized the cookies were gone, she should've immediately fired up the stove to cook another batch, hoping to complete them before he woke up and discovered her mistake (allowing the cookie supply to run out).

Touche.

[Dimmauk]

I didnt know Bagel was Elvaan in RL.

[Metah]

I was actually hoping that he choked her by shoving the wiimote down her throat.

I'm disappointed as the wiimote + nunchuck cord CAN BE DETACHED!

Yeah, not the best choice of weapon.

"AHA I'VE GOT YOU NOW!" *unhooks* "You know, that's not very fair"

[Brien]

Is this a joke why is "affidavit" in the news story like 11 times. Its all one big joke...

[Aerin]

That's a dude? Looks like a pissed off dyke.

[Jefe]

Too many "according to the affidavit."

[TheShadyMan]

Dude, there's way too much affidavit in this article.

[Katlan]

According to the affidavit, the Man will need to read a diff affidavit w/discloses how to fail less in life.

[thestalkmore]

Too much affidavit in this thread tbh

[Shalyn]

That's a dude? Looks like a pissed off dyke.

Think I'm going to need an affidavit stating that this is, in fact, a dude.