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  1. #1
    Love-God among men.
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    Hell Hath No Wrath

    Woman Explodes Boyfriend's Penis With Firecracker - Asylum | Men's Lifestyle | Humor, weird news, sex tips, fashion, dating, food and gadgets

    Every once in awhile a story comes along of a woman scorned that is so terrifying we have to cover it, despite the fact that we want to stick our heads in the sand and pretend it never happened. The story of 33-year-old Alik D. is one such cautionary tale.

    The Russian man had recently decided to leave his girlfriend of two years after she had been pressuring him into marriage. She suggested a farewell dinner, during which she plied Alik with a heavy meal and heavier drinking.

    When he decided to take a satisfied nap, she tied several firecrackers to his penis and lit them, sending Alik to intensive care where he is currently fighting for his life.

    The girlfriend will face at least 12 years imprisonment. While we're not sure how long it would take to truly punish her for this heinous crime, we are absolutely certain this isn't what Alik meant when he asked his girlfriend for a final "bang."
    Lorena Bobbit eat your heart out.

  2. #2
    The Sig...
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    What the fuckkkk

    Imagine how loud her queef was

  3. #3
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    In before Darwinism.

  4. #4
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    Darwinism.

  5. #5
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    That's one hell of a blowjob if I must say so myself

  6. #6
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    Women are such crazy bitches. Why are most men straight?

  7. #7
    Chram
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    Quote Originally Posted by EternityEnd View Post
    Women are such crazy bitches. Why are most men straight?
    Bitch dependency :<

    She was probably wanted to introduce him to her friends; Snap, Crackle, and Pop.

  8. #8
    Oh, you've got green eyes.
    Oh, you've got blue eyes.
    Oh, you've got grey eyes.

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    because the only thing worse than a woman is a man acting like a woman



    conversely, the only thing worse than an asshole male boss is a woman asshole boss trying to be a man

  9. #9
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    At least there were no cats harmed in this story.

  10. #10
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    .

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zilong View Post
    That's one hell of a blowjob if I must say so myself
    /thread

  12. #12
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    i just woke up from a pretty long and emotionally trying, very sad night

    this cheered me up like you would not believe

  13. #13
    Annihilation Banwave
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    There is nothing funny about this Zalius. Nothing. But if you had a rough night I will spoon with you should you need me to.

  14. #14
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    ITT: Terrible puns

  15. #15
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    This is why you don't mess with a girl that texts you more than twice within an hour of getting your phone number. They're all cock blow-er-up-ers.

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