I just don't know.

[ILUVCW]

What the fuck is going on with me, I am very confused with my current "love life".

So a few months ago.. I met this guy at a billiards, and he is a gym trainer. Blond, blue eyes, my height (5'9) and nice body. He was pretty weird at first cause he is a white boy from up north. My ex got his number cause she wanted a trainer and he was cheap. I had a fourth of July party and I invited my ex but she was at the gym with the trainer, so she asked if he can come with her after the gym and I said "sure". The party was fun but it didn't get good til all my friends passed out and the only ones that were awake at 7 am was My ex, the trainer and myself. We started playing truth or dare.. one dare leads to another and it turns into a threesome. The trainer and I, took turns, we didn't touch each other. I was kinda jealous cause his dick was thicker than mine ; ; but w.e, it was a nice dick. So whatever we fall asleep in the same bed til my ex had to go to work.. then it was me and him and he stayed at my house til like 9pm watching the game etc etc.

After that day we didn't talk til September, we chilled a couple of times in that month and he was a little too friendly with me.. like he likes to take his shirt off for no reason even if we are alone. He took something off my face really softly and just other random shit that straight guys don't do. One thing that really pisses me off, is that when we are in the car, he likes to touch my elbows with his, either side by side or his on top of mine. I have a big elbow rest in my car so there's no reason for all that touching.

Like.. on the 29th or 30th of Sept, he stayed over my house we slept on the same bed nothing happen til he started cuddling with me in the middle of the night. At this point I'm very confused cause I like him but he is my friend.. I don't want to ruin a good friendship to experiment with him. And He says he is straight and he acts like it, so I'm getting all these mixed signals . The day after we chilled again, we got drunk and we were in the car listening to "Becky" from Plies, (Becky = head, for the people that don't know). So he is like "I want some Becky" then my dumb ass says "I can give you Becky" he just says "no..". I felt like shooting myself, at this point I thought we weren't going to chill anymore BUT I was wrong.. We have been hanging out every single day.

Saturday was my b day, I turned 21 and I was planing to go to the clubs and roll with my best friend and the trainer. My plans didn't work out cause I took the rolls as soon as I got them and when I got home to get ready.. my best friend calls me and told me he invited someone I didn't really like, but since I was already on the rolls I kinda overreacted and I said I wasn't going because this person was going. I get very aggressive when I'm rolling so I knew if I saw this person I would beat the fuck out of him. So it was me and the trainer.. again.. alone.

So we got to my house after a semi-long ride to get there and when I parked at the driveway he gets out of the car and starts throwing up, saying he is overheating cause of the rolls, I didn't know what that really meant but I thought he was going to die for some reason. I left my keys in the house so then I left him at my doorstep so he didn't have to go with me to the other side of the house. I had to run to the other side of my house and jump through the window to get him inside for water. When I was running I was very scared for him, at that moment I didn't feel high, I jumped over my window like I was spider-man. I ran to open the door thinking he was going to be there passed out but he was standing and not throwing up.. Cursed him out for scaring the shit out of me. After that we turned off the lights and turned on the music. in the dark we played with the glow sticks and then we just sat and listened to techno and I downloaded a "light show" and we watched while we were touching each other at times, like I would touch his hand and he would touch my legs, it was minimal shit but whatever it was something. Fun night but a confusing one at that.

So yesterday I go over his house and we drink n shit, we get very shitfaced cause I bought Ciroc vodka and we started play fighting, I felt that he was gentle with me.. kinda like he wanted to kiss me.. I ended up staying the night but nothing happened AGAIN. That morning when I was leaving he says "I love you", and I replied quickly "I love you too". FML

I don't know what the fuck is going on.. I never like a guy before. I don't know how to tell him that I want to be with him sexually thou I don't know who's going to be the bottom cause I'm sure as hell not going to be the bottom lol.. I think he is either playing me really good or he is at a loss like me..

[quannum]

The day after we chilled again, we got drunk and we were in the car listening to "Becky" from Plies, (Becky = head, for the people that don't know).

only part worth reading tbh

[Shiroikage]

Did your balls touch during the threesome?

[Charismatic]

I think this is the coolest bot we've gotten so far.

[Linliel]

it can stay

[Ksandra]

I'm just trying to figure out what it's a bot for

[Airenn]

Oh man I totally thought this was a chick writing it at first

A++ would read again, love yaoi

[Kiro]

We can't be friends anymore Airenn.

[Shiroikage]

Not even if there are benefits, Kiro?

[Linliel]

obviously it's one designed precisely for spam

[Airenn]

We can't be friends anymore Airenn.

But but... what if I offered you yuri!?

[Kiro]

Yaoi is unforgivable. Not even Yuri can counter that.

[Ryko]

Get the fuck out, all of you.

[ILUVCW]

ty you guys for the love lol.. but I need some advice.

[Kiro]

roffles

[ILUVCW]

Did your balls touch during the threesome?

No, sadly.

[Krye]

I don't know what the fuck is going on.. I never like a guy before. I don't know how to tell him that I want to be with him sexually thou I don't know who's going to be the bottom cause I'm sure as hell not going to be the bottom lol.. I think he is either playing me really good or he is at a loss like me..

You can't be a faggot if you aren't going to take the dick like a good little bitch

[Odon]

Grab his dick fag.

[Linktri]

You.

Are.

Gay.

Fuck him or don't. At least you know that you've caught the gay.

[ILUVCW]

Grab his dick fag.

I tried that once, I put on Lady Gaga's "I like it rough" but I never got myself to do it cause I'm a pussy.

Your love is nothing i can't fight
Can't sleep with the man
Who dims my shine

I'm in the bedroom with tissues and when-
I know you`re outside banging but i won`t let you in
'cause it's a hard life, with love in the world
And now my hard girl lovin' is like chewing on pearls

You got me wondering why i
I like it rough, i-i like it rough, i-i like it rough
You got me wondering why i
I like it rough, i-i like it rough, i-i like it rough

Won't go without my fix tonight
It's a little too rough
Prom girl wipes her tears with silver lines
And she can`t get enough

I`m in the bedroom with tissues and when-
I know you`re outside banging but i won`t let you in
'cause it's a hard life, with love in the world
And now my hard girl lovin' is like straightening curls

You got me wondering why i
I like it rough, i-i like it rough, i-i like it rough
You got me wondering why i
I like it rough, i-i like it rough, i-i like it rough

Shiny and i know it
Don`t know why you wanna blow it
Need a man who likes it rough
Likes it rough, likes it rough
(baby likes it a-rough)

Shiny and i know it
Don`t know why you wanna blow it
Need a man who likes it rough
Likes it rough, likes it rough
(baby likes it a-rough)

Is it 'cause you don't mean it?
Or because i don`t feel it?
Yes it`s rough
Is it 'cause you don't mean it?
Or because i don`t feel it?
Yes it`s rough



You got me wondering why i
I like it rough, i-i like it rough, i-i like it rough
You got me wondering why i
I like it rough, i-i like it rough, i-i like it rough

You got me wondering why i
I like it rough, i-i like it rough, i-i like it rough
You got me wondering why i
I like it rough, i-i like it rough, i-i like it rough

This song pretty much sums up what I feel about the whole situation, and no its not about sex. The whole situation is rough but I still like it.