Avatar

[MysteryMithra]

Good visuals, bad dialogue, story was cliche. Stephen Lang getting in a Mech and Knife-fighting an Alien tiger was the only "edge of your seat" moment in the film since everything else was so predictable.

I actually found myself rooting for the military half-way through because I was so sick of "Nature" being crammed down my throat in poorly constructed dialogue delivered by Sam Worthnothington.


6.5/10


Thoughts?

[Antithesis]

NATURE IS GOOD. TECHNOLOGY IS BAD.

[MF Perm tha Fineass]

Good plot, great visuals, unoriginal story. Will be a landmark movie remembered for changing the face of 3D, brilliant work in the end and deserves every accolade it gets and then some.

[MysteryMithra]

Good plot, great visuals, unoriginal story. Will be a landmark movie remembered for changing the face of 3D, brilliant work in the end and deserves every accolade it gets and then some.

This movie definitely set the standards for future CGI and 3D films.

However, if the story wasn't so damn predictable I would've liked it a whole lot more.

[MF Perm tha Fineass]

You can have two paintings of a house, but one can just be so mind-numbingly beautiful and complex that you forget it's a painting of a house altogether. That's what Avatar was.

[Colenzo]

was written like 15 years ago give the guy a break, you woulda been sucking this guys cock if that movie came out back then

[Beckwin]

yeah because I would've been 8 and at that age the story wouldn't have been so simplistic/predictable.

[Obev]

It was absolute rubbish. 2/10. Waste of three hours of my life, twelve years of Cameron's time, and of three hundred million dollars.

Biggest budget awful movie ever.

[Ksandra]

I donno why people are so obsessed with it being "predictable". Does a movie always have to be unexpected to be good?

Hell, I fucking enjoyed it, didn't realize 3 hours had gone by, and thought it was fucking beautiful.

Good enough for me at least.

[Qalbert]

angry rant from a friend of a firend on FB

Avatar: A Review
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Sat at 11:32pm
Preface.

My attitude walking into this feature film was indifferent as I had not the chance nor the desire to see a trailer for this film. Generally, I do not want to ruin the viewing experience so I rely purely upon commercials or word of mouth on whether I will see a film. Essentially, I want to walk into a film with a blank slate as to not have any prejudice other than my own. With that said, I will begin to inundate you with my views of this film, so beware as there will be spoilers and I will be inappropriate at times.

Before I begin to delve into the veritable cornucopia of reasons of why I am writing this note, I want you to see this critical review of the Avatar trailer in case you have not seen the movie itself. This, as the title and myself suggest, is an interpretation of the trailer that captures the whole project very well in a brief 3 or so minutes. I also show this because the character of Hitler amuses me and that I've seen the movie that was subbed over :D.

What was wrong.

Firstly, lets begin with the usual plan of attack on a troublesome movie. The plot of the story is wafer thin and something this poorly thought through seems almost nostalgic. OH WAIT...Disney...Fern Gully. This was such a rip off of Fern Gully that I sincerely wonder if Avatar would have been created if it weren't for this movie. Avatar had everything Fern Gully did; A man becoming one of the natives, gigantic trees, a tribal spiritual queen, an angst ridden head warrior, a pathetic love triangle, a titanic imbalance of power against mother nature, giant leaves, glowing plants, and of course A GIANT BULLDOZER! Do you need any more proof!? Well here is more: Avatar and Ferngully have the same plot and character development with even the characters having identical relationship struggles. The only difference I can tell, from a plot perspective, is that with Avatar you get a bump up in relationship status through alien sex. This fact alone really questions the lines of bestiality outside of a purely physical perspective. This gross perversion of the role of the human body/mind/soul alongside the sap-ridden dose of death and destruction for the indigenous population left me with the constant taste of bile ever-leaking from the corner of my lips. Speculation of Avatar's unusual similarity with Ferngully had been rampant in the weeks before release but the sad part is that it didn't take a you-tube video for me to realize this, but rather the poor judgment of my mother in letting me watch such poorly written cartoons (Who ever wanted the power of heart? Not me. That kid was gypped.). Such cartoons viewed over a decade ago that were whelmed with the spittle of ECO propaganda. Don't get me wrong, I love the earth and nature and while being an avid hunter and fisher. In fact I was the Co-President of the conservation club at my college. However, after listening to the dribble that passed for dialogue in this film I have to focus hard on not breaking down, as I shake from relief, that I did not ever lament the death of a tree.

Were there any decent points about the movie?

I say the special effects were awesome. Then again, if you invest an obscene amount of money in a movie then you would hope that they would be awesome. Also, at least the action made sense and was believable, to a certain extent, as compared to the ludicrous entity that was 2012(don't get me started on why John Cusack should stick with comedy). Also, there was no bullshit about people coming back to life after appearing to have died. Sigourney Weaver, we almost miss you. Speaking of Sigourney Weaver, Cameron even brought back his mechanical monstrosity from Alien 2 that Sigourney rode in to fight off the Alien Queen. Haha, maybe there was more to this movie than it being a blatant Ferngully rip off. Yeahhhhh, not really.

Analysis, Thoughts, etc.

So how did a movie so trite come to be? The answer may be captured through my entire experience and reaction to Avatar, but it must be premised with a few short words: James Cameron is a fucking moron. I would like to meet the individual or individuals responsible for investing such a gross sum of money on a project that has no original content except for an exploration into new ways of making films look pretty. The investor's lack of foresight tortured me to reason out a justifiable cause for the lapse in sanity involved in their decision to fund him. It was only a matter of time before my tortured mind and soul came up with the answer: James Cameron has blinded them by gilding his own loins.. He has turned himself into a veritable golden goose after the Titanic fiasco of 1997 where teenage girls wet themselves in excitement over a lackluster love scene and a sinking ship. Even with a golden member there can only be so much said about overcompensation, but this was one stallion that Hollywood was willingly ridden by for 14 years of production on a single film. I can only wish that he had made made but a single typo in his only successful plot, the conquest of Hollywood's money and time, by having gelded rather than gilded his own loins.

I would like to add a quote as a wonderful finishing note. My favorite quote of the movie was written on the great site instapundit.com by a gentle soul who goes by the name of Marlon McAvoy. To preface this quote I would like to mention that I had my own thoughts focused on orbital bombardment throughout the movie.

Oh, it’s stupid. It’s so relentlessly, ubiquitously stupid that my b.s. sensors burnt out early in Act I and left me free to enjoy the spectacle ... But as regards the outcome of the Avatar “war”: obviously a consequence of interstellar travel is that it physically restructures the brain, so as to make kinetic weapons delivered from high orbit an impossible concept. Sort of the way that Star Trek’s warp technology wiped the very idea of “seatbelts” from human consciousness.

And with this note, may James Cameron's film flop for being the filth that it is.

[Flatliner]

Haven't seen it yet, but I'm going to and I'm excited for it.

[Kuya]

I enjoyed it.

[Alleya]

I donno why people are so obsessed with it being "predictable". Does a movie always have to be unexpected to be good?

Hell, I fucking enjoyed it, didn't realize 3 hours had gone by, and thought it was fucking beautiful.

Good enough for me at least.

Recognizing tropes is one thing. That's going to happen no matter what movie you go see, unless you're watching some kind of german impressionist thing. Being able to say a character's line before it comes out of their mouth is when it crosses into complete shittyness.

Or being able to chart the entire plot by seeing 10 second clips of 3 different scenes as I did.