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  1. 2010-07-23 02:06 #1
    mootsfox
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    The Empire is in a financial crisis

    http://gothamist.com/attachments/nyc...72210vader.jpg
    It seems the Empire has fallen on hard times. Presumably to get finishing funds for his latest Death Star, Darth Vader—or a man pretending to be Darth Vader?—was reduced to robbing a bank on Long Island this morning. Impotent Rebel Alliance security forces tell Newsday (paywall) that Vader marched into a Chase bank in Setauket around 11:30 a.m. today. Brandishing a completely unnecessary handgun—as he had the power to choke the oxygen out every teller's throat—the fallen Jedi demanded cash.

    It's unclear whether he also found their lack of faith disturbing, but one Rebel policeman says, "The teller complied with the robber's demands and gave him money from the drawer." Vader is described as 6 feet, 2 inches tall, also wearing camouflage pants, and was last seen boarding a starfighter headed in the direction of Long Island's sinister Sith stronghold, in Valley Stream. (Isn't this also where Improv Everywhere has their headquarters?) Below, a surveillance photo from the teller's point of view:
    http://gothamist.com/attachments/nyc...2210vader2.jpg


    http://gothamist.com/2010/07/22/dart...tos_oh_yes.php
  2. 2010-07-23 02:13 #2
    Ragnell
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    Shiva

    Best thread all day
  3. 2010-07-23 11:59 #3
    Mistress Stowastiq
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    I like this part the most:

    Brandishing a completely unnecessary handgun—as he had the power to choke the oxygen out every teller's throat—the fallen Jedi demanded cash.

  4. 2010-07-23 12:59 #4
    Calintzpso
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    Quetzalcoatl

    pfff. Darth Vader only thinks he has the power to choke people.

    People just pretend so they don't get run through with his light saber, then we drag the bodies out, redress them with a mustache or something, and Vader would never know the difference.

    Why that man on the floor behind him has been "killed" by Vader 37 times now!

    Robot Chicken
  5. 2010-07-23 13:08 #5
    Conrad
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    get out
  6. 2010-07-23 13:09 #6
    Conrad
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    finical
  7. 2010-07-23 14:15 #7
    Ragnell
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    Quote Originally Posted by Calintzpso View Post
    pfff. Darth Vader only thinks he has the power to choke people.

    People just pretend so they don't get run through with his light saber, then we drag the bodies out, redress them with a mustache or something, and Vader would never know the difference.

    Why that man on the floor behind him has been "killed" by Vader 37 times now!

    Robot Chicken
    How bout I slap your shit?
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