TLDR: Relationship advice / comments please ; ;

[beez]

So.... I've been going crazy over this girl for for about 2 weeks and none of my friends seem to know what to say that might help me out. I don't actually have any question to pose but I'm hoping someone might be able to say something here that somehow makes me feel better about the whole thing. Posting with a new username cause I'm not to keen on the idea of my name showing up here. >.>

Some history... I've had this best friend from FFXI for 8 years now and we've been talking almost every day, all day, in all that time, so we are extremely close (My chat history with her is bigger then everyone else I know -combined-). I had a long-term GF but it ended with her about 4 years ago so since then this friend of mine and I had started being more affectionate etc, although we never let it go further cause their were so many complications due to our differences. E.g. I wanted kids someday and she hates kids, and a bunch of other reasons.

Fastforward a few weeks to March, I realized I made the wrong choice. Cause I'm so attached to this girl I figured I should give up everything for her, even though my friends went crazy when I suggested it. But it felt right. So I was going to tell her when we could talk again. Trouble is I was pretty busy so the right time never popped up, then in April she stopped logging on MSN/Skype so our only communication was a few emails every now and then. I figured I'd just wait....

Then in May she logged on again and told me she met someone from FFXIV, which is why she hasn't been around in ~4 weeks. This absolutely CRUSHED me. And the sad part is she was actually surprised I was upset, she had absolutely no idea I still wanted to marry her until after she told me!

So yeah....now I dunno what to do. I acted supportive and stuff when she told me about their plans, but I got so cut up inside bad, it was easily the single most miserable moment in my entire life, and I cant even sleep now becuase I can't get it outta my head. She wouldn't get over her insecurities of leaving her home country for me but would for some random guy she just met. This is really upsetting because it feels like this is all my fault, I made the decision to not move there in Feb, then I made the decision in March to postpone telling her how I felt until it was too late, so now all this has happened.

And please, no insults directed at her. She didn't actually do anything wrong, as she believed quite rationally that I was moving on and thats what she did.

Tldr; timeline was sometihng like this:
Mid-Feb - Her and I were talking about getting married, but then we agree neither of us are willing to move countries
March - realize I made a mistake and planned on telling her later
April - she stopped logging on MSN/Skype to talk to me
Early May - she tells me about this new guy
Mid-May - she tells me they are talking about getting married

[aurik]

Plenty of fish in the sea.

[Correction]

Get over it, nothing you can do.

[Tekki]

Plenty of fish in the sea.

based on tl;dr. +1

[Eliseos]

Do you know she is actually a she? If the proof is blanketed somewhere in that book you wrote I apologize.

[solanis]

women who play ffxi are crazy, and online dating is not a fruitful prospect to say the least. you have a ton going for you at home, and it's certainly not worth losing your mind over a girl who's moved on herself. if it's causing you depression and it's hard to deal with, go see a therapist. I know there's stigma against therapy but it can really be the most healing thing you can do. losing yourself in random hookups to fill the void will only make the problem worse.

[Skeeto]

Eharmony.com has a better success rate than FFXI.

[Pyro]

How old are you and her?

[Alarial]

You should feel EXTREMELY lucky that she met someone else before you made the catastrophic mistake of sacrificing your life and your wants to be with someone you didn't even know (no, you didn't know her).

Praise whatever deity you talk to and seriously smile that you're free from what was clearly and extreme case of victim based dependence caused by social introversion.

And go outside. Real ladies are waiting. And some of us are good looking too !

[Arvin]

not this shit again.

[Milkster]

And I thought I had it bad with people I can see in front of me, physically. Move on, plenty of people out there.

[Cleverness]

Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks.

No but seriously there's no real thing you could have done. She wasn't anchored there, you were, she didn't want to move, end of story. If she's ready to do it after 2 weeks with a new guy, she wasn't that interested in you to begin with. Stop putting the pussy on a pedestal and move on.

[aduidarnenye]

You were ready to marry someone you'd never met in real life? Trust me, your chemistry online might not transfer over into real life. It's only luck if it does.

Move on, go outside, meet real people.

She sounds like a bit of a flaky bitch anyway.

[beez]

We're both in our 20s. Yes I know this type of thread is cliche. But when you're in this situation its hard not to try to get help. >_>

I can definitely confirm she is a girl.. lol

And, I don't actually have any problems meeting girls IRL, I just had no interest in them because of this friend of mine had all my interest for the last several years.

[aurik]

Well now you don't have that reason, now's a good time to go outside.

[Milkster]

Pics/Nudes of you and her for further commentary.

(Might as well do it in the beginning, instead of waiting.)

[Ksandra]

And we seriously started talking us getting married (we've never even met but I was ok with going straight into that).

but he lived very close to her and that she was meeting him in 2months (I've been waiting for YEARS for her to get over her insecurities and let me meet her),

It turns out they are actually already talking about marriage ?? After just 2 weeks of dating online wtf.

You are a fucking nutcase. And this is coming from someone who met a guy through FFXI and married him.

Jumping into marriage talk EVEN IRL like that is fucking retarded when you haven't even spent real time together.

She's just as retarded with this new guy which I doubt is even real.

Unless they extensive convos were on vent/skype or w/e. you were totally running after a dude.

Even if it is a chick, you shouldn't date her since you don't seem to know how to have a relationship with her first.

[chiyio]

sad. You'll feel better in time

This was NOT the girl for you obviously.

[Bartylby]

Plenty of fish in the sea.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3IjRgoGWUB...emotivator.jpg

[Shakki]

If she's willing to get over supposed insecurities for a guy she's known for two weeks when she wasn't willing to do so for you, even though she knew you for eight years, well...that says something right there. Now, I obviously don't know her, but this says to me that you were never "right" for her to begin with and were essentially fighting a losing battle.

Eight years is a lot of time to invest in something that didn't work out, so it's likely going to hurt for a while. Don't expect to just brush it off and move on right away. Find someone to talk to if you need to and wait it out.