School/work hours

[NynJa]

So I'm getting shat on by my mom and her husband for me being a lazy piece of shit, because all I do is play video games.

I have class monday to friday, 830am-1230pm, and I've asked my boss for 3-4 shifts a week, usually 8 hour shifts that will run from 345pm to 1215am. If I catch a 6 hour shift, it will be from 615pm-1215am, but be working a 6 hour shift is rare (usually me being called in cause someone is sick). This is 20 hours of school a week, and requested 24-32 hours of work a week.

Where does this fall upon what is acceptable? Is this overly taxing, or should I actually be vying for more hours?

[Aurara]

Honestly, don't spread yourself too thin during the semester/quarter/whatever system your school uses. 20 hours a week of class(not counting study/homework)+24-32 hours of work can be taxing over a long period of time. My friend works 50-60 hours a week and does class(although hes graduating this semester and the number of units hes taking is <12) I'd say give it a shot for a week or two and if it seems like you can still get everything done+have time for yourself then stick with it. You're obviously not a minor, so you can decide for yourself if you're over exhausting yourself with this work load you've taken on. This is my class schedule:

Spoiler: show

and this is my work schedule:

To me that doesn't seem like a very taxing semester, but everyone has a different threshold of what they think is "too much" find that first then decide.

[WrenDraco]

The 40-hour work week is supposed to be 'normal,' that sounds like what you have going. Maybe point out that you're currently doing 40-50 hours a week and if you do more than that, school will probably suffer.

[Cliron]

I think this is more telling of other issues rather than hours in the week/laziness.

Rather than responding to these questions, it might help to think in terms of questions like this:

Do you live at your mothers home?
Whats your relationship like with your mother? Whats your relationship like with your step-father?
Are there other issues that might explain her or his behaviour or stance? e.g. financial, grades, physical health,mental health (both yours and theirs) etc
Is it that they think you are just lazy or is it more that they'd rather you do other things with your time than play video games? Perhaps their concern for you is more on a social level and is being expressed as 'laziness' instead.

Without knowing anything about you, or your living situation its hard to assay, but parents are finicky. Some parents still like to try to exert control over their young adults in ways they would have when their kids were teenagers. This is going to be especially true when you are indebted to them somehow (e.g. them paying for your college, or you living at their home).

I will say, that going head first and bashing heads with your mother or step-father on this issue is probably not the most prudent path.

You know them best, but you could approach em and say something like "I hear what ye're saying and I appreciate ye're advice,...but Xyz is happening (school is really busy this semester, work is hectic, my girlfriend is crazy etc etc), but when XYZ cools down I plan on doing ABC (working more, going out with friends more, studying more)."

That way they feel like they're being listened to and you get to not deal with parent stress (which is especially a pain if you live with them as an adult).
You are going to have to try to maneuver through a sticky ground of exerting your independence to do as you see fit in your life as an adult, while taking on board the concerns of your loved ones who may try to show you them in less than ideal ways.

And finally, in regards to your question specifically. You're work week sounds do-able (although different people have different thresholds of work tolerance,Some people work 100 hour weeks gladly, and others [myself included] die at 50hrs). In regards to your free time; playing video games solely is not going to be adaptive to your health (both physically and mentally). Its easy said, but harder to do, but, scheduling in time for physical social time will do you wonders. The psychological effects of social support are pretty well established and will act as a fantastic buffer for your other stressors (parents / school included).

I'm not sure how ye're colleges work specifically, but in Ireland every new Semester we had a Club/ Society day, where all the societies opened their doors to new applicants. Now could be a perfect time to join one. No one looks back on their life and say to themselves "I wish I played more Vidya games".

[hey]

Factoring in school work done out of class, that's quite a bit. If you feel like you could do more, then maybe you should, but at the same time, that could easily be too much for some people. If you're happy with your current work load, stick with it.

[Sepukku]

You were up late as hell last night based on your BG posts too, did you wake them up inadvertently? Maybe thats a contributing factor towards the grumbling

[Acevalefor]

I work about 36hrs per week and have 10 hours of class time per week. Additionally, I have 2-3 hours per week of independent study. My wife still tells me I am acting lazy when I want to sit down and play guitar for 2~ hours.

The point of that little story is to say that it is all about perspective. If you are comfortable with your work load and are taking care of all of your responsibilities, it is no concern of others how lazy they perceive you to be.

[Buffy]

I work Full-time and go to school Full-time. It's all about time management.

[Boyiee]

I work 32-36 hours a week and take 12-15 credits full time a semester. My college is super close though and my work allows for ample study and homework time due to downtime. I feel putting more hours into class is more important, if you budget right it's ok, but fuck working more.

[NynJa]

You were up late as hell last night based on your BG posts too, did you wake them up inadvertently? Maybe thats a contributing factor towards the grumbling

Bear in mind im in calgary, not montreal. 3am to u is 1am

[Sepukku]

Bear in mind im in calgary, not montreal. 3am to u is 1am

if your folks are anything like the late middle aged adults I know, they were in bed long before 1 and would be annoyed at being awoken still

[SamanosukeShiva]

yeah I wouldnt do more than 50 hrs/week

[Meresgi]

Are you in a math/science field? If not, drop out of school and go learn a tradeskill

You'll thank me 30-60k later.

[NynJa]

if your folks are anything like the late middle aged adults I know, they were in bed long before 1 and would be annoyed at being awoken still

Despite how you may think im a loud as fuck quebecois, im actually really quiet. If their dogs bark when i get home at 1230am from work, not my problem.

[chiyio]

Back into the ffxi salt mines with you Nynja! go level my char some jobs.

[NynJa]

You deactivated them all!!!

So since I didnt include commute time: I'm 3 minutes away by car from work, and 5 from school (though with the way some Calgary drivers handle snow, it once took me 30 minutes). I'm lookin to move out though, I found someone thats lookin for a roomate, 417$/mo, all included. Except I'm gonna be like 25 minutes away from work and school, not including traffic.


And this is how my friday-sunday went, just to give you an idea:
Friday: woke up at 8 for class, go to class till Noon (had an exam, got out a bit early). Go to wendys, pick up lunch and go home. Eat food, then walk dog. Its about 1 now, so I go on my pc for about 2 1/2 hours. 3:30 I change and head to work. I get home around 12:30, dog was walked around 10, and shes sleeping, go back to play XI till about 1:30 am. No issues, head to bed, zzz.

Saturday: Wake up around 10, get up, brush teeth etc, walk dog. Go downstairs. Bitching starts...around 12 I figure I'd have to get out, so I take my dog and go to A&W. I get home, and eat my burger. More bitching "all you do is play video games bla bla go do something go play hockey its nice out bitch bitch bitch". I go to the park from 1 to 2. Half way from my walk home, it starts raining. Honest to god if I had gotten stuck in the rain, I would have flipped my shit when I got home. "oh my god its raining lol it was so nice out", to which I reply "yeah, luckily I missed it or I would not have been happy". 3:30 I head to work. I get home around 12:30 again. I had kind of a shitty day at work, I learned my lesson about going skating before work, because I was tired as fuck. I go to my pc, check the hockey scores and highlights, check out what happened with my LS, around 1:30 I head to bed. Bear in mind, its still a saturday. On my way up stairs, my moms husband is up checking the thermostat. I dont know if this was to give me shit for being awake at such an "ungodly hour", but I make absolutely no noise. At night my speakers are off, and my phones on silent, and theres no way keyboard clicks resonate through two floors. I used to live in a duplex with my father, whos room was across the hall, and keyboard clicks wouldnt wake him up. I say "night" and head to bed. I play my DS for a bit till I fall asleep.

Sunday: 9:30 am, my mom comes home, presumably with the dogs, stomps her boots like she's in a marching band. I was awake before this, I heard the door unlock and it open...so I'm like "okay whatever shes shaking snow off". Then leaves the house and rings the fucking doorbell. I immediately text her saying "its 9:30 am on a fucking sunday". To which she "appologizes, I thought you were up", then tells me the dogs were taken out at 8 (which is bullshit because I heard the leashes as she walked in). I have a day off from work, my first day off without school or work since January 2. I lie in bed till about 10:30 playing Zelda then I get up and take care of my hygenic business, then walk the dog. I go downstairs, hop on my pc, and feel hungry. Head upstairs, and start making pizza. I go back down while its baking, and more bullshit fighting starts. I go up to get my pizza and on my way down I hear my moms husband is giving her shit because "hes in the fucking basement again playing fucking games instead of shoveling snow, hes fucking useless". I contact this girl whos lookin for a roommate, and arrange to see the place around 12:30. My mom comes down saying "see hes mad again because you arent helping him". I tell her I'm heading out in 20 minutes anyways, and if he wants fucking help, he should try ASKING for it instead of assuming I will volunteer. I've offered this guy assistance for various tasks in the past, always told "no I got it". So yeah, I'm left to assume you dont want/need my help. I leave the house, I bring my dog with me because this guy only gives a fuck about his dog*. I meet this girl, talk with her a bit, the place is kinda small, but whatever. I told her straight up that I enjoy playing video games, that its generally what I do in my free time, but rent, cleanliness and stuff will never be an issue "kay no prob". This girl LOVES my dog (if you've seen pics, she is kind of a chick magnet haha). I've been there for about 2 hours, and now my moms worrying. "omg where r u call me why arent u answering ong call me im worried where are you". Take a walk for about an hour, talk some more, get to know who were each gonna be living with. About 6 hours later, I head home. Grilled with questions non stop about the place, about how far it is, rent, etc etc. So after telling me I'm an irresponsible piece of shit who just plays video games and want me out, now that I have found an out, one that I can afford, that accomodates my pet, that doesnt involve a psychopath, you dont WANT me out? Actually, they WANT me out, but on their accord.
Anyways, after I got home, I hopped on the pc. Did some AA fights with some friends (oh ya, this is the best part, everyone who plays FFXI isnt real, and if they are, theyre lazy pieces of trash as well), and went to bed around 11:30 because I have class the next day. They were actually both awake at that time as well.



*A couple times he's given my mom shit for "walking my dog", and that "I should be up at 7am with them walking the dogs". I keep saying "dont walk my dog, I'll put her on my schedule...but when you're at work, you can come home for lunch and walk YOUR dog then".

[BaneTheBrawler]

move out anyway fuck that shit.

[Dominico]

From what I can tell, it's not that you don't do work around the house/school/etc, its that in their opinion, you play games too much. You could be working 80 hours a week, but if you play games when you're home, their opinion of you will continue. The only real way to break the cycle would be to just stay away from games COMPLETELY for about a month. And I mean cold fucking turkey. Watch tv, read a book, fap, ANYTHING but play a game. This would also mean staying away from your PC for general internet crap since they'll auto-assume you're playing a game if you're on your PC. Spending more free time in the living room would also help. Then slowly just work a bit of gaming back into the mix. If all of this fails, then moving out is your only option. Either that or giving them money every month to keep them off your ass.

[NynJa]

Thats pretty much what it is. If I'm on my PC, I'm playing games. However, not going on my PC is illogical as what I am studying requires my computer. Its hard to do IT training without a computer.

As far as in house rent goes, it was brought up, and I said "will this bitching stop, will I stop being judged whenever I go into the basement, will I stop being woken up at 9 am, will I stop being judged as a degenerate because I go to sleep at 2am on weekends...if the answer is no, then why would I pay rent". And I've also told them "fine, if you dont want me to go play games, I'll gladly go to a bar, ALONE, and waste 100 bucks on alcohol and get drunk ALONE...but I'm pretty sure they call that alcoholism, which will have greater detrimental effects compared to playing video games, both financially and health wise".

[Mina]

move out anyway fuck that shit.

Moving out of my parents house was the first time I finally got to breathe.
I could relax when I got home from work/school in peace.
I could study in silence without being told every 5 minutes to do something.

My life got a lot more productive and my grades showed that I was doing better when I could focus on my studies and just myself. Plus having the time to relax with a game and let my mind just let the stress go from either of the other activities was very good.

And honestly, when I got laid off from my job and forced back into that environment again--I did everything in my power to get out of there immediately because having my own place to flop down for an hour after work or school and just nap was worth whatever I was paying in rent.

=== While Living There ===
"All you do is play games."
"You need to do more around the house."
"I'm tired of having to take care of you."
"Can you lend us a couple hundred dollars?"

=== While Living On My Own (Whenever I chose to answer the phone) ===
"Why don't you ever visit?"
"You're wasting your money."
"Why do you need college anyways?"
"Can you lend us a couple hundred dollars?"