How to kill a tree

[wyrmtung]

I just moved to a new apartment and there is a big tree my view of the southern sky. So now I am stuck with suckass Comcast cable and their suck ass DVR. TiVo and Direct TV has left me very spoiled and I am having a hard time to adjust knowing how good life could be.

I asked the hoes at the apartment complex if I could move but they basically said no. I even offered to pay cleaning costs and being put on a waiting list.

Well I'm at the point where I'm considering killing the tree. Only problem (well, besides offending the tree hugging set) is that I already established myself as the prime suspect by asking to move because the tree. How can I get rid of this damn tree without anyone suspecting foul play?

Of course if anyone has any non-homcidal suggestions then please submit them.

[guartz]

Get a book,
sit by the shade the tree casts,
read the book.
???
Profit.

[Remyo]

pour bleach on the roots.

[SupHammer]

Copper nails.

[guartz]

You... murderous SoBs

[Kazen]

Copper nails.

^

http://www.madsci.org/posts/archives/au ... .Ag.r.html

[Remyo]

or you could go with my good ol' friend 42" Husqvarna
http://i8.ebayimg.com/04/i/000/95/3f/e299_1.JPG

[guartz]

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v7...z/treehug3.gif

[Ace-o-fire]

salt, but yea thats kind of hard without killing the grass. and a shit ton of work to kill a tree.

[Blarg]

Ok, so what do trees and cable have in common? Is it ruining you reception or something?

[Remyo]

Ok, so what do trees and cable have in common? Is it ruining you reception or something?

He wanted satellite, but the tree blocks the southern sky making it impossible for him to get satellite.

[evilbau]

Get a book,
sit by the shade the tree casts,
read the book.
???
Profit.

It must be bizarro day, I am agreeing with guartz. I'd say just live with cable tv, and find out what compatible dvrs work w/it if you really find the one you have unacceptable.

Its bad enough most people are apathetic about the environment but to actively kill a tree just because its an annoyance for hindering your ability to get DirecTV is pretty sad.

[Bunnykillah]

Piss on it every day, it will die.

[Killgannon]

why would you want shitty ass satelite over cable anyway>.>??? just set up a different DVR and be happy happy

[Cheerios]

Point the dish at the northern sky.

[Khamsin]

Move to the southern hemisphere where trees blocking the southern sky won't affect your dish signal.

[bebeci]

Piss on it every day, it will die.

That's grass.

I'm pretty sure pissing on a tree is good for it.

[Blarg]

Infect it with STD's, I will let you figure out how to do that.

[Calais~]

Oh no, you can only have cable TV. Poor baby.
I'm with the tree-huggers, let it be.

[Saga]

Get a book,
sit by the shade the tree casts,
read the book.
???
Profit.

pretty sure he was asking for something not totally gay sry bud