Do you need to be magnetically attracted to your partner?

[Howie Roary]

Was having a discussion with a friend and they said I was shallow for having ended a relationship in the past because I wasn't attracted enough to the person and everything else was pretty much fine. Attraction affects sex life (at least for me) and I found myself drawn to other women and thinking I'd rather be with that one or that or that one etc.

skip this if you're the tl;dr type although reading the following will tie it all together:

Spoiler: show

I think it's really only important in the first few years with that person to be attracted to them and to build that initial base attraction and then (presumably) when you get old together you kinda have that way that you view them in your head, and spending everyday with them even though they change you still sorta see that old image.

So, how many of you are so noble that you can see past looks straight through to someone's intellect, achievements, skills, passion, ability, or love in general?

Maybe it's me but everyone has something special and unique about them in my opinion. An old friend once told me she had 3 gret loves in her past, and each one of them had something she will never again have in that same way with anyone else, and she'll miss it like hell for the rest of her life to an extent, but she believed that every person had something like that.

If this is true, then why not go for someone that gets you going physically and sexually? I personally feel like I am settling if I stay with someone I am less attracted to, and partly feel it reflects on me.

So am I shallow? Normal? Everyone is shallow? Not everyone can be noble?

[Howie Roary]

oops, can a mod make the poll public

[Sol-Blackguy]

It depends on what you're attracted to. Looks fade, interests change, but personality usually lasts forever.

[Blarg]

If attraction didn't matter I would marry dudes

[Chun Liroy]

Attraction is an important part of being in a relationship with someone.

[Mertron]

i love boobies

[Howie Roary]

It depends on what you're attracted to. Looks fade, interests change, but personality usually lasts forever.

I totally agree, in the spoiler section I touched on this part, just let me be attracted to them until 35 or so

[Howie Roary]

i love boobies

I feel that you are a kindred spirit with me for some reason

[Chun Liroy]

IMO, attraction has little to do with physical attributes. Sure we all judge potential partners on first glances, but at least for me, a person's personality does way more than how they look physically. I'm not attracted to pretty girls that act like bitches, pretty much.

[Howie Roary]

Attraction is an important part of being in a relationship with someone.

you don't find it shallow to neglect this important part and focus on other loftier aspects?

[Mertron]

I feel that you are a kindred spirit with me for some reason

gay

[Mertron]

no homo

[Howie Roary]

IMO, attraction has little to do with physical attributes. Sure we all judge potential partners on first glances, but at least for me, a person's personality does way more than how they look physically. I'm not attracted to pretty girls that act like bitches, pretty much.

touché

bitchface goes a long way, so does sulking and slumped shoulders etc


but the upshot of the question is that overall physical appearance, accounting for the attitude etc, could you look past bad skin, scars/moles/blatant lack of symetry or whatever sinks your boat?

[Chun Liroy]

you don't find it shallow to neglect this important part and focus on other loftier aspects?

Err, define what you mean. Do I find it shallow to date someone only because of how they look. ONLY. Yeah I guess, but in my opinion it's just a waste of time, and at that point it'd probably just be a booty call.

[Chun Liroy]

touché

bitchface goes a long way, so does sulking and slumped shoulders etc


but the upshot of the question is that overall physical appearance, accounting for the attitude etc, could you look past bad skin, scars/moles/blatant lack of symetry or whatever sinks your boat?

Yes I can, and I have. Doesn't everyone have that one person who you're like "Damn, for some reason I'm really attracted to them, even if I don't think they're hot"?

[Howie Roary]

hmm, ok I'm not saying go for 10's who are high maintenance or hold out for 10's who aren't (lol)

all I am saying is that so long as you yourself are satisfied with their looks, and of course taking everything else into account


in other words, if everything but her looks were ideal for you, would you bounce? and by not ideal I mean it's really starting to bother you and this will never change

[Chun Liroy]

I mean are we talking like a 0 when I'm an 8 or like a 4 when I'm a 6?

[Mertron]

it isnt so much that your partner needs to be attractive, you just need to be attracted to them somehow

if you are not attracted to them in any way, why are you with them; because it was easy?

[Mertron]

i still love boobies

[Chun Liroy]

I'm a shallow asshole, so it was 0 vs 8, I'd bounce.