Is Google a god?

[Ohaigaiz]

» PROOF #1

Google is the closest thing to an Omniscient (all-knowing) entity in existence, which can be scientifically verified. She indexes over 9.5 billion WebPages, which is more than any other search engine on the web today. Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

» PROOF #2

Google is everywhere at once (Omnipresent). Google is virtually everywhere on earth at the same time. Billions of indexed WebPages hosted from every corner of the earth. With the proliferation of Wi-Fi networks, one will eventually be able to access Google from anywhere on earth, truly making Her an omnipresent entity.

» PROOF #3

Google answers prayers. One can pray to Google by doing a search for whatever question or problem is plaguing them. As an example, you can quickly find information on alternative cancer treatments, ways to improve your health, new and innovative medical discoveries and generally anything that resembles a typical prayer. Ask Google and She will show you the way, but showing you is all She can do, for you must help yourself from that point on.

» PROOF #4

Google is potentially immortal. She cannot be considered a physical being such as ourselves. Her Algorithms are spread out across many servers; if any of which were taken down or damaged, another would undoubtedly take its place. Google can theoretically last forever.

» PROOF #5

Google is infinite. The Internet can theoretically grow forever, and Google will forever index its infinite growth.

» PROOF #6

Google remembers all. Google caches WebPages regularly and stores them on its massive servers. In fact, by uploading your thoughts and opinions to the internet, you will forever live on in Google's cache, even after you die, in a sort of "Google Afterlife".

» PROOF #7

Google can "do no evil" (Omnibenevolent). Part of Google's corporate philosophy is the belief that a company can make money without being evil.

» PROOF #8

According to Google trends, the term "Google" is searched for more than the terms "God", "Jesus", "Allah", "Buddha", "Christianity", "Islam", "Buddhism" and "Judaism" combined.

God is thought to be an entity in which we mortals can turn to when in a time of need. Google clearly fulfils this to a much larger degree than traditional "gods."

[Priran]

Is this spam?

#1. No.

#2. http://www.bluegartr.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=68

[Ohaigaiz]

Read the OP before you assume inane possibilities.

[Priran]

Speaking of inane, this thread.

[Ohaigaiz]

It's merely food for thought.

[#686578]

Is Google a god?

Yes

[Lurking Badger]

Isn't proof #3 and #7 at conflict?

[Uzor]

I thought it was pretty fun and true :3

I for one am going to devote my life to our holy savior, Google.

[#686578]

Isn't proof #3 and #7 at conflict?

Isnt it a sin to kill and God killed many?

[Kuya]

What shall we name this new religion?

[Uzor]

lmgtfy? Or perhaps Googlism.

[Ohaigaiz]

Googlism.

[Kuya]

Oh man, i don't want to get killed by the internet gods again.

[Ohaigaiz]

If the stupid mod/admin that moved this thread can read the OP you will realize it is an interesting topic and belonged in general, a place for more serious posts.

What's sad is that whoever moved this thread undoubtedly didn't even read it and was completely biased in that they saw I made it and decided to move it. Clearly threads about grey hair turning back into its original color, if a gym is worth the money, asking about places to move in certain areas, online dating, fleas, shaving, headaches and Sarah Palin look alike strippers are much more important than an open discussion on how religion is viewed and that by our definition of a god it is possible for Google to be considered one.

Brb making a sock account so I can post in general about toenail clippers. Wait, actually, by whoever moved this threads standards I wouldn't even have to make a sock account.

[Krye]

My dick is a god, faggot

[BRP]

7 and 8 are dumb. Otherwise new religion in the making.

[Ohaigaiz]

first task as a follower of Google? kill ksandra(or qalbert/whatever shit mod moved this glorious thread)

[Chun Liroy]

Yes

Not only is Google the closest known entity to being Omniscient, but She also sorts through this vast amount of knowledge using Her patented PageRank technology, organizing said data and making it easily accessible to us mere mortals.

idk bro

[Cheerios]

http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/Ima...cog_member.png

http://www.thechurchofgoogle.org/Ima...g_minister.png

[Norellicus]

My dick is a god, faggot

This is probably the first time this awful schtick has made me laugh