I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.

[Eldelphia]

Saw this and thought of you...

I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.
BY Mike Lacher
- - - -
Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.

You don’t like that your coworker used me on that note about stealing her yogurt from the break room fridge? You don’t like that I’m all over your sister-in-law’s blog? You don’t like that I’m on the sign for that new Thai place? You think I’m pedestrian and tacky? Guess the fuck what, Picasso. We don’t all have seventy-three weights of stick-up-my-ass Helvetica sitting on our seventeen-inch MacBook Pros. Sorry the entire world can’t all be done in stark Eurotrash Swiss type. Sorry some people like to have fun. Sorry I’m standing in the way of your minimalist Bauhaus-esque fascist snoozefest. Maybe sometime you should take off your black turtleneck, stop compulsively adjusting your Tumblr theme, and lighten the fuck up for once.

People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business’ website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.

When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I’m shredding “Reign In Blood” on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.

It doesn’t even matter what you think. You know why, jagoff? Cause I’m famous. I am on every major operating system since Microsoft fucking Bob. I’m in your signs. I’m in your browsers. I’m in your instant messengers. I’m not just a font. I am a force of motherfucking nature and I will not rest until every uptight armchair typographer cock-hat like you is surrounded by my lovable, comic-book inspired, sans-serif badassery.

Enough of this bullshit. I’m gonna go get hammered with Papyrus.

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/i...c-sans-asshole

[Deadgye]

I am a force of motherfucking nature

It was at this point that I started imagining I just read something written by the scout.

[Fhqwghads]

Chuckled way too hard at something so ridiculous.

[Ddz]

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s4oDBszE_5...Comic+Sans.jpg

made me think of this lol

[Jaybar]

But no one takes you seriously, Comic Sans. Implying that you are famous for being on Microsoft Word all these years is akin to saying Fox News is good because of its high ratings.

Myriad Pro and I are going to the strip club. See you at the next convention.

[Lysithea]

Myriad Pro... is just a whore.

[Maguspk]

Implying that you are famous..

But it is famous, you dullard.

[The Stig]

I sent it to my friends to read but in Comic Sans (via copy/paste)

It got ignored

[Qeomash]

If people want a good looking font for something that isn't Helvetica-serious but shouldn't be Comic Sans-retarded, Wild Words is a better choice.

http://www.identifont.com/samples/co.../Wildwords.gif

[hey]

Which one is upper/lower case?

[Qeomash]

Only difference between upper/lowercase is the I.

[hey]

That's not true. But thanks, didn't notice the I.

edit: just eyeballing it, abceghipu and possibly w are all different. Q and some others also look heavier in uppercase, but i would need to measure them to be sure.

[Marootsoobutsu]

That's not true. But thanks, didn't notice the I.

edit: just eyeballing it, abceghipu and possibly w are all different. Q and some others also look heavier in uppercase, but i would need to measure them to be sure.

F has a longer top on the upper case than lower case, and a heavier bottom prong. J has a longer top as well, and the curl has a barb on the lower case. The bottom prong on the lower-case K tapers off. The M has different curvatures between upper and lower case. Same with the connector in the N. O is a little wider and definitely heavier in upper case. The loop in the upper P is compacted and the bottom of the loop angles up slightly more than lower case. The leg on the R extends further past the loop in the lower case than the upper case. S has a small barb on the lower case at the end. Lower case T's leg is more centered, where upper case is askew to the left. The leg in the upper case U is about twice the length of the lower case. Lower case V's left arm is shorter than the upper case's. The upper case W is wavy; lower case is straighter. X, Y, Z and Q the only things I can see are the heavier lines.

[Edidas]

if the font's name isn't called "Comic Sans" i bet everyone else would take it more serious

[Kaisha]

Should get Ragns to Comic Sans this entire forum up for a day.

[Vandole]

Should get Ragns to Comic Sans this entire forum up for a day.

http://pieceofmind.files.wordpress.c...gle-banned.jpg

[Maguspk]

[Plow]

I started to read that but it's in fucking comic sans so I had to stop a few lines in.

[Skyylya]

Since i'm not into fonts at all I totally thought this was about horacio sans.

I always use Times New Roman.

[Venga]

Awesome, never really been a comic sans hater despite being a graphic designer! Have to say i am a fan of a good font, spend way to long scrolling through font book......