Inb4 someone changes the title
Inb4 someone changes the title
I'm falling in love again (I think) and I'm excited and scared at the same time. My previous love affair ended with pancreatic cancer. I feel like I'm cheating even though he's in a 300 dollar jar in my drawer.
I'm a hot mess
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Grow up cry baby.
fly away peter pan. fly fly.
In the beginning I thought about smoking a little bit of the ashes.
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It hasn't even been a whole year since he passed away and this guy comes into my life out of nowhere. Last night was our fourth date and I didn't put out. He tried but I left.
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I share this with y'all cause I don't like my friends knowing all my business and none of y'all know me in rl so it's easier to express myself without any real backlash.
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It never happened tho. It's hard to lose a best friend and a lover at the same time dude. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him and the thought of finding someone else? Well it would make anyone go a little insane..
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Love makes you do crazy things dude and I definitely know I'm not the only one to experience loss but every experience is unique. He was my first for everything, anything I experienced in the last 7 years of being an adult; he was there. When I lost my brother, he was the one the pulled me up from a crippling depression. Fuck dude, we used to fly to Cancun for the weekend and have a blast on those beaches. To think that I will never see him smile at me while he's walking off the beach.
The cancer caused him 7 hearts attacks in under 32 hours. He was 24 years old. Watching the love of my life go through that, I'm surprised I didn't smoke the whole urn. My love runs deep and you might not understand it but sometimes love isn't all that sane.
I'm in no way saying that it isn't. But that's what my mind drove me to feel, because I loved him so much.
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Lol no but he always joked around how he wanted to be stuffed and be placed in the living room. I never laughed.
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