You know you are a loser when

[Price]

You get rejected on TXT message sex, and the fucking girl started the TXT message foreplay.

She was all "Kisses all down your neck and chest" and shit, and I TXT "Slides off her underwear and asks if she is ready" only to get "Not so fast, Kisses goodnight".

Fuck.

Next time I'm TXT raping.

[Howard Roark]

ehh you kinda jumped the gun though, gotta get her teased and wanting it, make her want you, don't tell her how much you want it

if you're good it'll end with her telling you how much she wants it


give attention to the areas around where you wanna end up: neck, ears, inner thighs, around the nipple etc -- make her work for it

there's a huge difference between a quickie and a session

[Bagel]

You had me at "TXT message sex"

[AkashiXI]

fucking nerd

[Price]

Well I did do a little of that, I just didn't want to reveal all my great TXT message foreplay techniques. I didn't turn pro for no reason, y'no.

[AkashiXI]

who the fuck cyber texts? Like, IM is semi-passable because at least that has potential into leading in webcam, but text is just desperate. Plus, having her # is a good indication that you know her irl. Stop being a pussy and actually do the shit you're mashing out with those sausage fingers of yours

[Price]

Don't hassle me bro. First, I cleaned the fucking sausage off my fingers after dinner. And 2nd, she lives like 3 miles away and I don't have a car and its raining and I suffer from volcano jizz syndrome

[AkashiXI]

^

You know you are a loser when

Author: Price

[Price]

Your quoting skills are amazing, sir.

volcano jizz came from the volcano taco in your sig and I figured I'd probably still eat one if it was covered in man love.

[AkashiXI]

This place isn't for you, Price. I suggest you start off by trolling allakhazam, and then work your way up from there

[Howard Roark]

this is going nowhere fast

text is fine from work or cross state borders and for some reason phone is not an option

[Price]

Shut your face crabmang. I will party van wherever the fuck I want.

horse god commands it

princess peach deemed it

that one picture of me with kyres name on my face was ok with it

oh and also cocks

[Price]

I live with my parents do you think I can talk sexy with them down the hall? I don't think I can talk sexy with them down the hall.

[AkashiXI]

I'm not knocking text, I'm saying there's much better alternatives to getting your jollies off outside of waiting for her to reply with "oh yea" because you KNOW he's hitting up some bitch that'll just sit there in missionary anyways, so why would she put effort in responding?

[AkashiXI]

I live with my parents do you think I can talk sexy with them down the hall? I don't think I can talk sexy with them down the hall.

no car, lives with parents, and you're texting bitches that deny you and you post this so randoms can mock you. Sounds like you have your life in order!

[Price]

"to begin sucking deez nuts"

[Ohaigaiz]

Isn't any type of sexual text message supposed to be like foreplay or something? 'Hey baby, when I get to your house I'm going to do x and x and definitely x while you're against the wall.'

You're doing it very, very wrong.

[Ohaigaiz]

Also phone sex is the only type of non-rl sex that is allowed. Any other is just no.

[Price]

jk bro this is all fake so spam kidz will think im funny lol so plz chill out we can b frnz k?

I want a new poster, AkashiCrab is too fucking hostile.

[Price]

Well I told her I was gonna do x and x but then I pretended to do x and x and boy oh boy was it rated XXX LOL