Finding Long Lost Family Member

[LostFamily]

Well, if you thought the BG Medical or BG Law posts that pop up on Gartr were random and in the wrong place, I'm about to take the cake for most random question that is likely to never get a response, but I honestly don't know where to begin, and we have such diverse members on here that I might just get lucky, so here's my shot in the dark.

Now before stating my question, I must say ahead of time that I made this account to keep certain people on these forums from identifying me and to protect certain family members until I have the full truth ... until then I will be treating what I'm posting as rumors that I need to validate (Sonomaa gave me permission for the alt account so other admins don't go revealing my name please.)

------------------

So the question I have is two-fold as likely the second part is the wrench in the machine that my brain cant come up with a plan to deal with. Even if #2 makes it impossible to answer, feel free to answer #1 specifying that you're ignoring part #2.

1) How would I go about trying to find a family member given away at birth in a foreign country (The Phillipines). To add complexity this happened what I estimate to be 22-25 years ago.

2) How would I go about doing #1 but with the added fact that the child was possibly sold. Yes, I'm talking about human trafficking.

Yeah, told you it was a shot in the dark, but basically I have reason to believe that an extended family member of mine met someone overseas and they had a child which they then sold to obtain the money needed to get the mother into America. Now since I'm still in the process of stealthily questioning family members I'm not yet certain enough to go running to government agencies or international agencies and risk ripping apart my family only to later find out I was completely wrong. I'm also not in a rush to any agencies because its no longer a child, if it were I'd probably risk ruining my family if it meant possibly stopping the trafficking ... but we're way past that point.

The reason I'm posting this now with so little info is because unfortunately I'm currently unable to question a certain key family member until July when we'll both be in the same state ... so until then I feel kinda helpless and figured I'd spend the 2 months between now and then to see what kinda of advice I might find if this family member does indeed confirm everything.

Well, that's basically my open ended question. If anyone does actually have ideas I'll try and post any extra info as I discover it, but here's a final summary of what I've come up with.

1) I'm 95% certain they did have a child while in the Phillipines and did give it up
2) I'm 70% certain they sold the child
3) A recent phone call to an aunt revealed that the child may have been sold to the doctor they got to deliver it.
4) I cannot confirm whether or not the child was sold/given to a child trafficker. As per #3, there is hope that the doctor buying it may have simply wanted one of his own, then again being a doctor is a great job to have if you're into trafficking.
5) I do not know the gender of the child.
6) I do not know the age of the child, but based on other children from the same man the absolute range is between 21 and 26 with 22-25 being more likely.

Ok, I guess that's a big enough wall of text for now. I'll check back tomorrow and see if anyone has any idea of if I simply got flamed into oblivion. Thanks in advance for any help.

[Lyn]

Crazy story, good luck! I've found that most of the time your parents/family members are going to fabricate stories to protect themselves. The only way I found my half-sister was her going to a social worker to find us.

[LostFamily]

Thanks for the kind words, but if you thought you got lied to, I bet I'll have you beat once I try to start slinging around child trafficking accusations. Yeah, thats gonna go over well ... :sigh:

Anyway, it seems my shot in the dark was indeed fruitless as I would have expected. I guess I'll let this post serve as some kinda final bump to see if I get a hit and then just let it sink to the bottom of the thread trash heap. Hopefully in July I can return with some more useful info ... but boy am I gonna have a heck of a time searching a foreign country I know nothing about for a person based on only a gender and age ... if even that much.

[tyven]

I happen to have a particular set of skills when it comes to this

1) Go to a major airport in the pinos and look for a guy that keeps trying to share cabs with young hotties.
2) Chase him up an overpass until he jumps off and gets hit by a truck
3) find your local cop buddy and tell him you are about to fuck shit up
4) insult a prostitute so that you can place a bug on her pimp when he comes to see wtf is up
5) Listen to pimp and follow trail to a construction site/whore house
6) Fuck shit up
7) learn from whore where the house with other bad guys is
8 ) Go to house and ask them to say "good luck"
9) Fuck shit up
10) Keep one bad guy alive and torture him until you learn where your family member is
11) learn your cop friend is dirty, shoot his wife
12) go to the auction where they are selling your family member because she is a virgin
13) Fuck shit up
14) Rescue family member and go home to Jean Gray

[Nephlite]

So you don't have a name, date of birth, description or anything?

In a perfect world I would say you drop a few grand on a Private Investigator. Most likely (if they're worth anything) they have contacts within the local and outside law enforcement agencies to maybe get an idea of where you're going. If it was the Philippines then there's got to be at least a certificate of live birth somewhere on record; you'll just have to do some snooping and whatnot to get the records (looking for anything fishy such as a name but no parents listed or contact information for the child). Then a good P.I. should be able to run a NCIC check on the names and it'll probably take a while but that's one good way to find people. Just throwing it out there but missing persons without any background is damn near impossible if not completely impossible to do without trekking in to some dangerous (and possibly illegal) territory. People have done it before; it all depends on what you can dig up and who you can get in contact with. The situation here is even more difficult because foreign countries don't exactly work the same methods a traditional detective can dig up info on, especially if you know nothing of the language. Good luck nonetheless. I'll run this by a few guys in the department who work Missing Person's to see if they have any advice.

[LostFamily]

Well, I really really hope my little upcoming ninja investigation in July will pan out on facts like gender, age (especially if I can get a good estimate of exact DoB), and whether or not that doctor rumor from my Aunt was true (especially if I can get a name, that'd be jackpot).

Now, as for my OP I tried to keep it to facts or at least things presented to me as facts by family members. My problem is based on what the Phillipines has been known for, my brain already has a bunch of assumptions (which i hope to hell are all wrong)

1) The child was likely trafficked and may not have been given a name by my relatives when they had her. Likely given up within days of birth.
2) I said her above cause lets face it, people traffic women far more often than males
3) Continuing on my train of thought from 2, she'd probably be a prostitute at this point unless she managed to get away / freed by Filipino crackdowns ... and based on my research into the phillipines, apparently thats a trafficking hub for other countries especially to Japan.

So yeah, I got a worst case scenario on my mind, but I tried to leave that out of the OP as NONE of those were said to me by family members, my mind jumped to all three conclusions. So, instead of sit on my hands til July I figued I'd see if anyone knew of Filipino organization names since its so prevalent there, or US ones I suppose, or perhaps info on what Filipino birth records are like compared to US and where I could possibly request them from once I have more info.

Until then, shit like P.I.'s are out of the question til July or later. If July fails to pan out, my final ace in the hole will be to approach the Filipino mother (making sure she's alone and NOT near her husband) and try to call her out on it an to call upon her maternal instinct to possibly get her to break. Her husband is likely the unbreakable one who came up with selling a child as a solution since he already gave up his two prior American children to his prior wife on the condition that he didn't have to see them or pay support.

[LinktheDeme]

I happen to have a particular set of skills when it comes to this

1) Go to a major airport in the pinos and look for a guy that keeps trying to share cabs with young hotties.
2) Chase him up an overpass until he jumps off and gets hit by a truck
3) find your local cop buddy and tell him you are about to fuck shit up
4) insult a prostitute so that you can place a bug on her pimp when he comes to see wtf is up
5) Listen to pimp and follow trail to a construction site/whore house
6) Fuck shit up
7) learn from whore where the house with other bad guys is
8 ) Go to house and ask them to say "good luck"
9) Fuck shit up
10) Keep one bad guy alive and torture him until you learn where your family member is
11) learn your cop friend is dirty, shoot his wife
12) go to the auction where they are selling your family member because she is a virgin
13) Fuck shit up
14) Rescue family member and go home to Jean Gray

I think I saw this on NBC dateline one time. You forgot the crucial part where he needs a translator though, unless those pimps be speaking engrish

[Chicomagiko]

OP, what's in this for you? Why go so far on a rumor?

[Fallyn]

I happen to have a particular set of skills when it comes to this

1) Go to a major airport in the pinos and look for a guy that keeps trying to share cabs with young hotties.
2) Chase him up an overpass until he jumps off and gets hit by a truck
3) find your local cop buddy and tell him you are about to fuck shit up
4) insult a prostitute so that you can place a bug on her pimp when he comes to see wtf is up
5) Listen to pimp and follow trail to a construction site/whore house
6) Fuck shit up
7) learn from whore where the house with other bad guys is
8 ) Go to house and ask them to say "good luck"
9) Fuck shit up
10) Keep one bad guy alive and torture him until you learn where your family member is
11) learn your cop friend is dirty, shoot his wife
12) go to the auction where they are selling your family member because she is a virgin
13) Fuck shit up
14) Rescue family member and go home to Jean Gray

/thread.

[archibaldcrane]

OP, what's in this for you? Why go so far on a rumor?

I personally accuse a new family member of selling their children into prostitution every Thanksgiving.

Makes the holidays much more lively.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S 4G using Tapatalk

[Maguspk]

OP, what's in this for you? Why go so far on a rumor?

Genes man, this being shares genes with him. Also the child was sold into slavery, that fucking blows, he's got a good heart to sympathize and want to try to track him/her down.

[Apelila]

Without asking for specific's also consider you're being fed a story. A relative of mine seems somewhat convinced my dad had children overseas in the phillipines when he was stationed there. I've never been offered proof, but this isn't the kind of person to make something up. (They don't have the creativity)

If what you've been told is fairly convincing though follow it as best you can. Realize you may divide the family down lines of the ones who admit the truth and the ones who won't though. Good luck, I don't have any advice but I hope you are able to confirm that this is false, since it doesn't sound like it's such a good thing if its true.

[LostFamily]

Without asking for specific's also consider you're being fed a story. A relative of mine seems somewhat convinced my dad had children overseas in the phillipines when he was stationed there. I've never been offered proof, but this isn't the kind of person to make something up. (They don't have the creativity)

If what you've been told is fairly convincing though follow it as best you can. Realize you may divide the family down lines of the ones who admit the truth and the ones who won't though. Good luck, I don't have any advice but I hope you are able to confirm that this is false, since it doesn't sound like it's such a good thing if its true.

Indeed, you think like me, but here's a little back story. I heard this fact/rumor/story a long time ago at well, a Thanksgiving (damn you archibaldcrane), when I was like 10-12? I dunno, too long ago to remember. But like the rest of my family I filed it away under "who gives a fuck". Which brings me to ...

OP, what's in this for you? Why go so far on a rumor?

... to 2011, where I finally end up meeting that 4th child I told you about. The only one my cousin actually raised. OK, I met her when she was little but lets face it, seeing her at Thanksgivings from infant through young child just means I ignored her that much more (yeah, not good with kids. Except now she's 19 and an adult, and apparently she's all excited that she is going to meet her long lost half-sister this fall, and at some point she said "This is awesome, I'm about to have a sister and a whole new family" ... and that's when it happened. You know, that moment when your brain kinda locks up and all the wires take a second to realign and BAM! ... in pops the memory of a potential ACTUAL sister. And after meeting this really awesome cousin of mine, I can't help but juxtapose them and imagine how she could have ended up there in the Philippines.

So back to you Apelila ... The minute I'm back home I call my mom and flat out hit her with "OK, tell me EVERYTHING you know ... now" ... which totally caught her off guard but she followed through and contacted an Aunt who also added the rumor about the doctor. Now come July I'm going to pin down, in person (no phone call bullshit), the mother of the asshole cousin that gave up 3/4 of his children. Shes the one who spread the rumor to the family ... she's the one who had to be told about her grandchild being sold/given up/whatever when it happened 20+ years ago ... she's the one I'm going to guilt trip into spilling everything she knows. I'm just hoping that if her son who coulda kept this all to himself was dumb enough to tell his mom what he was doing, then I'm also hoping she at least made him give her details about this grandchild she was about to lose.

[Misterjingles]

Being half flilipino myself, the chances of sleeping with your cousin is extremely high so making sure that the chick he is checking out ain't family is a big benefit and makes social gatherings less awkward.

[Chicomagiko]

OP, how old are you? Just asking since you have this glimmer of naivety about you that makes me wonder if you've seen Taken or some other bullshit Hollywood movie one too many times. What do you intend to do in the end? Ruin families and possibly endanger your family and yourself? Are you prepared, really prepared, to accept the consequences your actions may have on everyone you're related with?

[jmc]

Is the individual you are looking for was sold into the human trafficking market, then all I can really do is wish you the best of luck.

human trafficking is a huge issue in the world, with very little information about who is actually involved throughout the world. So if its been 20-25 years, its truly a blindshot.

[archibaldcrane]

He's just really wanting that blessed experience of reintroducing an AIDS-stricken heroin addict with no education to the father who sold her and denies her existence.

It's a special moment.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy S 4G using Tapatalk

[LostFamily]

OP, how old are you? Just asking since you have this glimmer of naivety about you that makes me wonder if you've seen Taken or some other bullshit Hollywood movie one too many times. What do you intend to do in the end? Ruin families and possibly endanger your family and yourself? Are you prepared, really prepared, to accept the consequences your actions may have on everyone you're related with?

No, I'm not intending to go all rogue movie hero or anything. What I'm looking for is organizations or places who might exist for just such situations. Let's assume I'm right and the child was sold. Then that means that on one hand they may have either escaped or have been helped out by anti-trafficking crackdowns or something. On the other hand, yeah, I may have a 0% chance of finding them and if that's what my odds are, then that's where I stop. But this is why I'm looking into it, to figure out my odds.

As for ruining families, that's why I'm being careful with the order and timing of approaching family members. If I wanted to go balls to the wall with this, I'd call my Aunt right now instead of waiting to see her in person, and I'd risk her hanging up on me and calling up her son and possibly turning myself into the shunned liar in the family they all hate (regardless of the truth). Or I'd just call up the girl, tell her she has a sibling, and BAM watch a family fall apart from a distance. But I'm NOT doing any of those. Also, Archibald is sorta right ... I'm not looking to just shove two people into a room who are gonna hate each other and just go separate ways all over again. If at any point I feel like I may destroy the life of the daughter here in America ... then I'll probably pansy out, her life is intact so hers is the one I'll protect the most.

[LostFamily]

Excuse the back to back posts, especially since this one may be a wall o' text, but after some thinking time driving into work this morning I feel like I've been baited away from my OP even though that what I anticipated when I made the thread. So here's me taking a step back and making myself clear.

In my OP I intentionally left out my personal worst case scenarios, and even now I'm leaving out lots of personal information irrelevant to the thread but very relevant to my motivations and to my assumptions and to my current set of plans. Mistakely I later posted some of those in reply and yeah, I bet I do sound like I'm about to pull John McClane (never saw Taken, so gonna go with McClane here). Hell, chicomagiko is a bit correct but for the wrong reasons. While I've not watched too many moves like "Taken", I must admit that when I first decided to go down this rabbit hole my first few thoughts were movie references (as jokes, not as literal ideas). I immediately thought to myself something like "Where the hell am I gonna find a hacker, a rogue cop, and a shady but incompitent criminal connection with information on every crime organization ever" ... but after having a little chuckle I stopped and then realized that I had NO IDEA what to do or where to begin or how hard this was gonna be ... I knew darn well this isn't a movie.

So at some point I debated making a random and anonymous post here on BG. Why? Well, I admit, many people here are simply gamers or computer geeks or still in school ... and this was primarily a video game forum ... but we also have physicists, and mathmaticians, and lawyers, and well ... just people with some rather interesting skills and knowledge. I figured lets just see, and heck, so far my reply from Nephlite already exceeded my expectations and I didn't even hear back from him yet, but hey, there WAS someone here on BG with a possibly useful source of information and advice. And simply put, thats ALL I'm looking for ... information and advice.

As stated in my OP, I asked a two part question. "How do I go about finding a missing person in a foreign country?" and "How do I find that person if they were trafficked?". The answers to the two questions may be similar or they may be completely different, but I'm interested in advice on either. If the answer to question two is "virtually impossible" then ignore it and simply answer question one.

And finally I just want to make it clear that as of right now, and contrary to what this thread may indicate, I am not expecting or even intending to find this long lost cousin of mine. I am simply evaluating whether or not I should or even can. I realize that if I do eventually give myself the green light, I'm going to need a lot more information, I'm going to need to be ready to spend a lot of money, and I'm going to need to have determination to not give up halfway. This isn't a movie and this isn't a video game, and I have no delusions about it being either.

Thanks.

[Uzor]

While I salute your dedication, I have to ask you; assuming you DO find her, I don't think the people who own her if she is a victim of trafficking will be happy to part with her. What are you planning to do in that situation?