2025 NFL Week 1 Thread: GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD!

[Mertron]

GENTLEMEN!



FILL ME WITH BARBECUE SAUCE AND TRADE MY BEST PLAYER BECAUSE IM DUMB AS HELL!



Oye hombre, ten cuidado, el jefe viene detrás de ti…

Spoiler: show

On the last episode of BG NFL Thread:



the eagles won the super bowl.

again!

But enough about me. It’s time for all of your shitty teams to not win the superb owl again

NFC East: Eagles
NFC North: Lions
NFC South: Bucs
NFC West: 49ers (1)
Wildcards: Packers, Rams, Cardinals
Out from last year: Vikings, Commanders

the commanders were lucky as shit last year. people have too much confidence in jj mccarthy. The nfc west plays the afc/nfc south, they’re putting 3 teams in the playoffs. the 49ers lost a lot, but they should be the best team in the nfc west if they can stop having to fly to Germany for blood infusions and stem cells, and thanks to a soft schedule will be the 1

AFC East: Bills (1)
AFC North: Ravens
AFC South: Texans
AFC West: Chiefs
Wildcards: Bengals, Chargers, Dolphins
Out from last year: Steelers, Broncos

the steelers are going to fucking implode under the weight of ar12s batshittery and it’s going to be both glorious and result in tomlin finally getting fired. bo nix sucks and you can’t tell me otherwise. the bills are the class of their division again, will pace themselves to a 12-13 win year under the guidance of white cam, and lose to the chiefs in the playoffs on a phantom (spins the wheel-o-Mahomes) offensive pass interference penalty

NFC Championship: Eagles over Packers
AFC Championship: Chiefs over Bills
Super Bowl: I can do this all day.

Actual predictions:

Coach of the year: Johnathan Gannon
Comeback player of the year: Aidan Hutchinson
Offensive rookie: Ashton Jeanty
Defensive rookie: Abdul Carter unfortunately
Offensive player of the year: Jamar Chase
Defensive player of the year: Micah Parsons please god it would be so fucking funny
MVP: Josh Allen
First coach fired: Brian Daboll
First pick 2026: Saints

LETS GET WEIRD
Coach of the year: I already gave you Johnathan Gannon. What more do you want from me?
Comeback player of the year: Daniel Jones. cmon. It’ll be fun.
Offensive rookie: Travis Hunter
Defensive rookie: Jihaad Campbell
Offensive player of the year: DJ Moore
Defensive player of the year: Jalen Carter
MVP: Baker Mayfield
First coach fired: Pete Carroll
First Pick 2026: Seahawks

[Mertron]

if pete carroll retires because he forgot he was old that still counts

[Mertron]

anyway my fantasy draft is tomorrow and im already saying things like “cmacs knee will hold up fine” “tyreek hill in the second round looks good” “mike evans seems undervalued, i can take him in round 4 or 5” “i can wait to take a qb in the back half of the draft, dak is good for some stat padding” and im going to go 2-12 this year

[Dimmauk]

anyway my fantasy draft is tomorrow and im already saying things like “cmacs knee will hold up fine” “tyreek hill in the second round looks good” “mike evans seems undervalued, i can take him in round 4 or 5” “i can wait to take a qb in the back half of the draft, dak is good for some stat padding” and im going to go 2-12 this year

Its seems some people are stuck in the past when they draft players that used to be good 5 years ago.
Do your homework and don't fall for the trap picks or runs on positions.

[Mertron]

i have done my homework, the problem is im very stupid

[Cail]

i have done my homework, the problem is im very stupid

yes

[Krandor]

I expect absolutely nothing out of my Deebo Samuel pick but I grabbed him in the 9th round and he's in a contract year (so he'll theoretically try)

[kuronosan]

NFC East: Eagles
NFC North: Lions
NFC South: Bucs
NFC West: 49ers
Wildcards: Packers, Rams, Commanders

AFC East: Bills
AFC North: Ravens
AFC South: Texans
AFC West: Chiefs
Wildcards: Bengals, Chargers, Raiders

NFC Championship: Eagles over 49ers
AFC Championship: Chiefs over Bills
Super Bowl: Swift over Kelce y'all! Mark my word though if the Bills actually win the AFC this year expect them to lose in heartbreak at the Bowl.

Comeback player of the year: Micah Parsons (lol)
Offensive rookie: Ashton Jeanty is a safe bet
Defensive rookie: I would also guess Abdul Carter
Offensive player of the year: ugh. I wanted to say Rashee Rice but a 6 game suspension is hard to overcome. Brock Bowers.
Defensive player of the year: Cooper Dejean.
MVP: Josh Allen or Mahomes
First coach fired: Brian Daboll (pleeeeeeeeeease)
First pick 2026: Boys

[Xno Kappa]

NFC East: Russell Wilson: physician, scientist; searching for a way to tap into the hidden strengths that all quarterbacks have. Then an accidental overdose of corniness alters his hall of fame career. And now when Russell Wilson grows angry or outraged, a startling metamorphosis occurs... The creature is driven by subway sammiches and pursued by shitty ESPN takes. The creature is wanted for a play he didn't call. Russell Wilson is believed to be washed, and he must let the world think that he is washed, until he can find a way to control the DANGERUSS spirit that dwells within him.

He is…UNLIMITED!

NFC North: Lions
NFC South: Falcons
NFC West: Niners
Wildcard: Iggles, Packers, Rams

AFC East: Bills however they want it.
AFC North: Ravens
AFC South: Texans
AFC West: chiefs. they still have their best player, the refs.
Wildcard: Steelers, Broncos, Bengals

First Coach fired: He is now known as the head coach of the Dallas Cowboys.

Super Bowl: Giants beat Chiefs 41-22. As the award ceremony begins, the crowd can be heard whispering...

"Where is the champion?"
"Where is Russell Wilson?"

Already seeking the next challenge, ceremony means nothing to him. The fight is everything.

Spoiler: show

[Xno Kappa]

My draft is tonight. I’m gonna confuse the shit out of everyone and pick a kicker in the first round.

[Cail]

My draft is tonight. I’m gonna confuse the shit out of everyone and pick a kicker in the first round.

looool i hope you do

[Xno Kappa]

Lmao

[Mertron]

Defensive player of the year: Cooper Dejean.

[Melena]

My draft is tonight. I’m gonna confuse the shit out of everyone and pick a kicker in the first round.

The spirit of Al Davis compels you!

Sent from my SM-S928U using Tapatalk

[Mertron]

anyway my fantasy draft is tomorrow and im already saying things like “cmacs knee will hold up fine” “tyreek hill in the second round looks good” “mike evans seems undervalued, i can take him in round 4 or 5” “i can wait to take a qb in the back half of the draft, dak is good for some stat padding” and im going to go 2-12 this year

Its seems some people are stuck in the past when they draft players that used to be good 5 years ago.
Do your homework and don't fall for the trap picks or runs on positions.

12 Team full ppr

QB: Mahomes
RB: Barkley
RB: Warren
WR: Hill
WR: Evans
WR: DJ Moore
TE: Andrews
Flex: Pearsall
K: Koo
D: Lions

Bench: Javonte Williams, Rhamondre Stevenson, Kirk, Thielen, Ayomanor, Hunter Henry, Bryce Young

[Mertron]

what’s a good name for these losers, “team upside” isn’t funny enough

[Xno Kappa]

Team Mertron

[Xno Kappa]

[kuronosan]

God damn a burn so sick the Eagles will have to call out of the Bowl this year

[Mertron]

eagles will be tomorrow I assume but here’s a nice little note from the bills WYTS today

Meanwhile Seany Boy continues to contemplate how he can outsmart Andy Reid each year, when in fact Sean would be outsmarted by any of Andy's 5 kids (including the dead one because he would at least let the defensive coordinator call the plays).