Roughdraft Batman Arkham Asylum review

[BRP]

I'd like you folks to tear this shit apart. It's the first time I've written a review instead of just going into a forum rant. I am sure I've made mistakes in grammar. It's pretty damn long, but I don't think I can trim it anymore than I have already. (I think someone asked me once to go in depth on what I thought about Batman AA, so here it is)

EDIT: Thank you for all the comments. I've made some changes(trimmed down some nitpicking, made some sentences sound more natural, less cursing). They are relatively small though, so I don't expect anyone to read this twice. Still unable to trim down much though. Oh well.

Version 1

Spoiler: show

Batman: Arkham Asylum
Developer: Rocksteady
Genre: 3D Action (Beat 'em up, Stealth)
**/5

Note: Thanks to playing the demo before getting my hands dirty I knew this game was going to be easy. I picked Hard and decided to never upgrade my health stat, referred to as "Armor Upgrades" in the game. I would advise the same.

Arkham Asylum takes place in the titular institution which is broken up into dozen of buildings and the fairly large property surrounding them. The game has a small free-roaming aspect to it and a lot of backtracking to empty buildings if you are aiming for a "100% completion". The game digs deep into the Batman mythos with cameos out the ass and a proper set of villains as bosses. As Batman you play around with a weak combat system, do a lot of sneaking up on thugs, climb and glide around, and optionally solve some riddles.

I am ambivalent for the visuals. The setting of the game is moody and well-matched. You get to look at the infamous dingy and spooky hospital facilities and additionally a gothic mansion and lush and eerie gardens. Also some rather typical caves and sewers. Batman looks cool, he has armor like in the Nolan movies, but with the iconic color scheme of the comics. His posture did seem a little off to me though... he stands around like Superman. The villains all get redesigns, with generally mediocre results. The "human" NPCs in the game look like they just came from the Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion universe. Motherfucking hideous. The Commissioner Gordon character model gets a special call-out for being one of the ugliest looking dudes I've EVER seen in a 3D videogame. (I once heard someone say that the game has a "comic book" feel to it. This is completely untrue. If anything everyone iconic looks like plastic toy action figures of comic book characters.)

The voice acting is fantastic. It's wasted in the cutscenes and one-liners during battle, but in the extra inmate interview tapes or any time the Joker is taunting over the hijacked intercom, it shines. The voice acting has to be the most polished part of the game, but it says something when the best aspect of your game can be just as easily enjoyed on YouTube.

The combat, the core of the game, could be summarized with a word: simple. AA plays like one of those one-button modes you see on Devil May Cry or Bayonetta. Right off the bat(hurr!) all you need is the single melee attack button and dodge button for all but a few rare easily-solved gimmick enemies and outside of those enemies you would only use the other stuff to show off. The idea is to quickly chain your attacks without missing(including a missed counter) or being hit in order to build up your combo streak. Bonus experience points aside, you'll want a higher combo to get access to the instantaneous and invincible "takedowns" which finishes off opponents safely. You do get to buy new stuff with your experience points, but the formula never strays.

To the game's credit when done right the whole thing can be pretty damn graceful and look really cool. After your first two strikes(or counters) in a row Batman begins flying all over the place. There is basically no limit to how far he will jump, roll, or glide to punch someone in the face which leads to some ridiculous and awesome looking brawls. When Batman is fighting like this you are better off with single taps of the attack button and surveying with the camera on who you will hit next rather than mashing.

So what you get is charming, but shallow action... when it works. You do get hiccups and they are ever so noticeable because it is very difficult to make honest mistakes in such a simple system. I am sure I could keep my combo chain going forever if it wasn't for the game saying "Fuck you" after awhile and having Batman suddenly do a kick in the wrong direction or the highly punishable dodge roll instead of jumping over someone's head.

Fighting the henchmen would be the highlight of the combat system. The bosses, the very villains who make Batman interesting, are hilariously stupid in this game. Rocksteady are so proud of their mutant freaks(seems like someone thinks Doomsday is a typical Batman villain) that they make you fight the identically boring boss pattern well over 6 times. I think the lameness of the bosses in this game is captured perfectly by the hyped-up Killer Croc encounter. Scary dramatic music plays, he jumps up from the water like out of some scary monster movie, and you one-shot him with a batarang you didn't even need to aim. Rinse and repeat ten or so times as you walk around. Most of them are little more than minor distractions. Rocksteady must have been aware how fucking lame these boss battles were, because you spend more time fighting grunts in half of them. The final boss was just downright offensive in terms of character, visuals, and how it played. An exemplary fuck up to end a game full of horrible bosses with.

The combat wasn't the only patronizingly easy portion of the game. You do a lot of climbing and (automatic) jumping and gliding between platforms. Most of the time you might just use your batgrapple to access any ledge you'd like, but there are areas where you won't be able to use your batgrapple, putting more emphasis on this platformer element.

The funny part is that it is almost impossible to die to this. I've actually tried to find ways to die, but this game simply doesn't want you to lose. You take no fall damage, no matter from how high up you fall from without gliding. If you fall into water, you climb out somewhere nearby. When you are plunging into a bottomless pit simply hit your batgrapple button when the game slows down and tells you to and you will climb back up a platform. You can even do this in areas where the batgrapple isn't suppose to work! I am certain there are Sesame Street and Dora the Explorer games that are more punishing than this.

The stealth sections are easily the high point of the game. They are certainly harsh enough to take seriously. Batman isn't superhuman, he goes down very fast when faced with a gun and in these segments everyone has a gun. Despite this, I wouldn't call these parts very challenging. Thanks to the omniscience you gain from "Detective Mode"(which there is never a reason to take off as it tells you everything you ever need to know) all you need to a little caution to remain unseen. The main appeal would the freedom. I would purposely be reckless and die just to see everything I could do and what I could get away with.

The amount of options were enough get my imagination running. You can sneak around doing silent takedowns or hide in the dark corners of the ceiling waiting to do a glide kick. Setting traps with your explosives or just scare the crap out of them with batarangs. There is something undeniably satisfying in hanging over some goon, capturing him, and leaving him stringed up. Maybe afterward cut him down with a batarang from the shadows to freak out his friends who have gathered around him. As you pick them off the music(which is otherwise forgettable) becomes more and more amped up and when only one guy is left, freaking the hell out, it makes the final takedown all the sweeter. It should be noted it was only during these encounters that I was immersed into the Batman aesthetic.

The "Riddler Challenge" is an optional part of the game which is half collect-a-thon and half easter egg searching, though I guess they are not really easter eggs if they are meant to be found. None of the actual riddles test your smarts or anything. They usually refer to a Batman character and you must find an item belonging to that character. Rocksteady must have thought these were too difficult because you can pick up maps which show you the location of every riddle answer and collect-a-thon item! The worst part is that you are forced to skip over most of them as you travel through the asylum until you much later gain access to new tools required to reach them. All in all, a far cry from the detective angle the game was advertised to have.

For those who enjoyed the combat or the stealth segments, you can replay them(or "Extreme" versions of them) in the "Challenge Rooms." There is a scoring system for the combat based rooms and weird achievement-like bonus objectives for the stealth ones. This is always a great idea to have in these long-winded story-heavy games. Unfortunately you have to take part in the tedious collect-a-thon to unlock any of the good ones. After about 10 or 11 hours or so, I was completely done with the game and had little interest in extending my stay.

Coup de Grâce:

Batman: Arkham Asylum is plagued with hand-holding bullshit: Detective "I see EVERYTHING" Mode, one attack button, cannot die from falls while platforming, Riddler maps, and so on. If the game was developed as stealth-based alone and more effort was put into that aspect it could have been a good game. If you are a big fan of Batman(or at least, Batman: The Animated Series), search Youtube for some for some sound bites and just skip the game. While you are at it have a laugh at the pathetic bosses.

2 out of 5.

Batman: Arkham Asylum
Developer: Rocksteady
Genre: 3D Action (Beat 'em up, Stealth)
**/5

Note: Thanks to playing the demo before getting my hands dirty I knew this game was going to be easy. I picked Hard and decided to never upgrade my health stat, referred to as "Armor Upgrades" in the game. I would advise the same.

Arkham Asylum takes place in the titular institution which is broken up into dozen of buildings and the fairly large property surrounding them. The game has a small free-roaming aspect to it and a lot of backtracking to empty buildings if you are aiming for a "100% completion". The game digs deep into the Batman mythos with cameos out the ass and a proper set of villains as bosses. As Batman you play around with a weak combat system, do a lot of sneaking up on thugs, climb and glide around, and optionally solve some riddles.

I am ambivalent towards the visuals. The setting of the game is moody and well-matched. You get to explore the infamous dingy and spooky hospital facilities and additionally a gothic mansion and lush and eerie gardens. Also some rather typical caves and sewers. Batman looks cool, he has armor like in the Nolan movies, but with the iconic color scheme of the comics. His posture did seem a little off to me though... he stands around like Superman. The villains all get redesigns, with generally mediocre results. I once heard someone say that the game has a "comic book" feel to it. This is completely untrue. If anything everyone iconic looks like plastic toy action figures of comic book characters. The "human" NPCs in the game look like they just came from the Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion universe. Completely hideous. The Commissioner Gordon character model gets a special call-out for being one of the ugliest looking human beings I've EVER seen in a 3D videogame.

The voice acting is fantastic(which is to be expected, a few of these guys have been voicing these roles for more than a decade). It's wasted in the cutscenes and one-liners during battle, but in the extra inmate interview tapes or any time the Joker is taunting over the hijacked intercom, it shines. The voice acting has to be the most polished part of the game, but it says something when the best aspect of your game can be just as easily enjoyed on YouTube.

The combat, the core of the game, could be summarized with a word: simple. AA plays like one of those one-button modes you see on Devil May Cry or Bayonetta. Right off the bat(hurr!) all you need is the single melee attack button and dodge button for all but a few rare easily-solved gimmick enemies and outside of those enemies you would only use the other stuff to show off. The idea is to quickly chain your attacks without missing(including a missed counter) or being hit in order to build up your combo streak. Bonus experience points aside, you'll want a higher combo to get access to the instantaneous and invincible "takedowns" which finishes off opponents safely. You do get to buy new stuff with your experience points, but the formula never strays.

To the game's credit when done right the whole thing can be pretty damn graceful and look really cool. After your first two strikes(or counters) in a row Batman begins flying all over the place. There is basically no limit to how far he will jump, roll, or glide to punch someone in the face which leads to some ridiculous and awesome looking brawls. When Batman is fighting like this you are better off with single taps of the attack button and surveying with the camera on who you will hit(or jump over) next rather than mashing. So what you get is charming, but shallow and easy action. (Though the game sometimes like to mess up and have Batman kick away from the camera is facing. A common, but minor inconvenience which might prevent you from getting huge combos in large battles.)

Fighting the henchmen would make the best use of the combat system. The bosses, the very villains who make Batman interesting, are hilariously stupid in this game. The guys at Rocksteady are so proud of their mutant freaks(seems like someone thinks Doomsday is a typical Batman villain) that they make you fight the identically boring boss pattern well over 6 times. I think the lameness of the bosses in this game is captured perfectly by the hyped-up Killer Croc encounter. Scary dramatic music plays, he jumps up from the water like something out of a scary monster movie, and you one-shot him with a batarang you didn't even need to aim. Rinse and repeat ten or so times as you walk around. Most of them are little more than minor distractions. Rocksteady must have been aware how utterly lame these boss battles were, because you spend more time fighting grunts in half of them. The final boss was just downright offensive in terms of character, visuals, and how it played. An exemplary fuck up to end a game full of horrible bosses with.

The combat wasn't the only patronizingly easy portion of the game. You do a lot of climbing and (automatic) jumping and gliding between platforms. Most of the time you might just use your batgrapple to access any ledge you'd like, but there are areas where you won't be able to use it, putting more emphasis on this platformer element. The funny part is that it is almost impossible to die to this. I've actually tried to find ways to die, but this game simply doesn't want you to lose. You take no fall damage, no matter how high up you fall from without gliding. If you fall into water, you climb out somewhere nearby. When you are plunging into a bottomless pit simply hit your batgrapple button when the game slows down and tells you to and you will climb back up a platform. You can even do this in areas where the batgrapple isn't suppose to work! I am certain there are Sesame Street and Dora the Explorer games that are more punishing than this.

The stealth sections are easily the high point of the game. They are certainly harsh enough to take seriously. Batman isn't superhuman, he goes down very fast when faced with a gun and in these segments everyone has a gun. Despite this, I wouldn't call these parts very challenging. Thanks to the omniscience you gain from "Detective Mode"(which there is never a reason to take off as it tells you everything you ever need to know) all you need to a little caution to remain unseen. The main appeal is the freedom. I would purposely be reckless and die just to see everything I could do and what I could get away with.

The amount of options were enough get my imagination running. You can sneak around doing silent takedowns or hide in the dark corners of the ceiling waiting to do a glide kick. Setting traps with your explosives or just scare the crap out of them with batarangs. There is something undeniably satisfying in hanging over some goon, capturing him, and leaving him strung up. Maybe afterward cut him down with a batarang from the shadows to freak out his friends who have gathered around him. As you pick them off the music(which is otherwise forgettable) becomes more and more amped up and when only one guy is left, who is understandably freaking the hell out, it makes the final takedown all the sweeter. It should be noted it was only during these encounters that I was immersed into the Batman aesthetic.

The "Riddler Challenges" are an optional part of the game which is half collect-a-thon and half easter egg searching, though I guess they are not really easter eggs if they are meant to be found. None of the actual riddles test your smarts or anything. They usually refer to a Batman character and you must find an item belonging to that character. Rocksteady must have thought these were too difficult because you can pick up maps which show you the location of every riddle answer and collect-a-thon item! The worst part is that you are forced to skip over most of them as you travel through the asylum until you much later gain access to the tools required to reach them. All in all, a far cry from the detective angle the game was advertised to have.

For those who enjoyed the combat or the stealth segments, you can replay them(or "Extreme" versions of them) in the "Challenge Rooms." There is a scoring system for the combat based rooms and weird achievement-like bonus objectives for the stealth ones. This is always a great idea to have in these long-winded story-heavy games. Unfortunately you have to take part in the tedious collect-a-thon to unlock any of the good ones. After about 10 or 11 hours or so, I was completely done with the game and had little interest in extending my stay.

Conclusion:

Batman: Arkham Asylum is plagued with hand-holding bullshit: Detective "I see EVERYTHING" Mode, one attack button, cannot die from falls while platforming, Riddler maps, and so on. If the game was developed as stealth-based alone and more effort was put into that aspect it could have been a good game. If you are a big fan of Batman(or at least, Batman: The Animated Series), search Youtube for some for some sound bites and just skip the game. While you are at it have a laugh at the pathetic bosses.

2 out of 5.

[Diamicles]

tl;dr

batman games have always sucked

[BRP]

tl;dr

batman games have always sucked

You are useless

[Day]

tl;dr;never will

[tyven]

your review is late

[Diamicles]

You are useless

you just played through (probably multiple times) and wrote a fucking book on a shitty game, and you're calling me useless?

can't argue with you really, cause I didn't read it

[Day]

lol

[BRP]

can't argue with you really, cause I didn't read it

And yet you continued to try.

[Mizango]

Why am I not Tyvens xbax fren

[Callisto]

I like that you used 'titular'


I didn't read past that

[Callisto]

really though, I haven't read a ton of online reviews recently so I don't know how it is comparatively, but that's really fucking long

[tyven]

i read the first half and it seemed good, i cant really get into video game reviews. i am sorry i could not be of more help. i did enjoy the cameos out the ass

[Mizango]

Accused of crewing but the article is dead on, I didn't like the game either and you pretty much covered the shitty controls.

[Day]

Hay mang maybe you can review mouse trap or something miz

[Howard Roark]

I read it, I own the game, haven't started it, it was a gift though so.. Meh I'll play it still but now I'm gonna be pretty jaded lol

[Mizango]

Hay mang maybe you can review mouse trap or something miz

Oh that's a good idea! I played Mappyland enough to know that game inside and out.

[Mizango]

I read it, I own the game, haven't started it, it was a gift though so.. Meh I'll play it still but now I'm gonna be pretty jaded lol

QQ

[Mizango]

You'll see how it feels to play an Atlus game surrounded by haters.

[Demosthenes]

tl;dr

batman games have always sucked

Batman: Return of The Joker for the gameboy says you are wrong. NES version says the same too.

[Diamicles]

Why am I not Tyvens xbax fren

votes were cast, results were tallied, I ended up with this custom title thanks to Dr. Tyven