Brother-in-Law Problem

[Tagus]

So, as the title may suggest, I have a problem with my Brother-in-Law and I need some advice. I can't really ask any of the people I know, because it would complicate the situation. I figured, why not ask BG? At least it might be funny.

Anywho, here's the deal. My Brother-in-Law has a two year old daughter, who I am the Godfather of. IDK if the Godfather part matters, but the movies were good so I figured I'd throw it in there. So this daughter, he could honestly give a shit about her. He's basically becoming a dead-beat dad before our eyes... pretty much constantly pawns her off on my parents to babysit her so that he can either sit in his basement and smoke weed or go to the gun range with his new handgun. It's become a bit out of control. My parents watch this kid 4-6 days a week while he's off for the summer from teaching. Some days I'll go over to my parents to visit, and the daughter will have slept over. My dad will call him to come help him with some yardwork or something, he'll come over for 30 minutes, and leave without the daughter.

So gradually this dude has become increasingly depressed over the summer, spending longer and longer in the basement smoking weed by himself. He developed a kidney stone due to poor diet, which further pushed him into depression. If there is such a thing as marijuana addiction, he has it. He's making his dealer so happy that the guy has set up a standing order to deliver it to his mailbox on Sundays. At his daughter's birthday party, he asked me to keep my parents busy so that he could "go to the mailbox"... which may not be as hardcore as I thought it was among pot circles, but it seemed very wtf to me.

So yesterday the situation comes to a head. Bro-in-Law is dropping his daughter off at my house while I have some people over so that my parents can get her. He knocks on the door, I open it, he goes, "here you go" and hands me his daughter and turns and leaves. Daughter is like wtf, starts crying. Bro-in-Law doesn't say thanks, let alone hello. So I get fucking pissed and send him a pretty critical email telling him that his behavior is bullshit, you don't drop a kid off like that, never do that shit to me again, etc... completely forgetting he has surgery scheduled for today to remove the kidney stone and probably won't even see it for a day or two.

So... question is... how do I deal with this? Nobody really stands up to him or challenges him on anything, so I figured I'd man up and give it a try, but it's probably not going to accomplish anything. Now I feel guilty because I sent him a shitty email the day before his surgery, but in all honesty it was a long time coming. Does anyone have any experience with bullshit like this? I don't know what the fuck to do about this guy, if there's anything even to be done at all.

Sorry for the TL;DR, btw.

[archibaldcrane]

Where is your sister, the kid's ...mother? in all of this?

Who is the mom and where is she?

[bigrougabagel]

When I was a kid and didn't take care of my things; such as leaving my bike outside in the yard, my dad would hide them and make me think someone stole it. So yeah.

[Zetanio]

TL;DR response is:
He has medical issues. Fine. That doesn't let him pawn his daughter off and sit around smoking weed all day. Good for you for e-mailing him. I'd have suggested telling him that you (and your parents) aren't going to raise his kid for him. Threaten to call child services and light a fire under his ass. If you don't give him a "Oh Fuck" moment, he won't learn and will just keep sitting around smoking weed.

Also, involve everyone you can. Talk to your parents about it (They are your parents and will side with you).

[Tagus]

God, I love these responses already. My sister (the little girl's mom) works alot of hours at a flower shop. She basically gets up for work, gets her daughter fed, drops daughter at parents, picks daughter up on way home, makes dinner, repeat.

[Vandole]

snitches die in ditches

That said, get his ass thrown in prison

[Takedown3]

mind you're own fucking bizness how about

[Brill Weave]

DO NOT LET HIM NEAR ANY BUFFALO CHICKEN DIP!

[Zetanio]

DO NOT LET HIM NEAR ANY BUFFALO CHICKEN DIP!

I just fucking fell off my chair.

[Haiko]

I take it your sister not doing anything as well since her man been doing the weed thing for a while.. what does she have to say in all this?

[Jaybar]

God, I love these responses already. My sister (the little girl's mom) works alot of hours at a flower shop. She basically gets up for work, gets her daughter fed, drops daughter at parents, picks daughter up on way home, makes dinner, repeat.

What.

[Kohan]

So, your sister isn't confident enough in her relationship to tell her man to straighten his shit out, and it's fallen to you? Sounds like someone shouldn't have fucking had a kid. Don't have any sympathy for your sister either, long hours or no, if she isn't telling her husband to shape the fuck up or get the fuck out.

That aside, who gives a shit if he's having surgery for a kidney stone? It ain't cancer, bitch. Tell the mother fucker he's going to ruin his future relationship with his daughter and/or potentially raise her into an adult lacking self-esteem and self-control, who will be an even bigger failure than he is right now. Don't sugar coat that shit, tell him like that. Try to make him realize how far-reaching the consequences of his stupidity will be. Don't take it lightly.

[Cream Soda]

I feel dumb. This whole time I thought it was op's wife's brother's daughter, so I was like WTF lol

[BaneTheBrawler]

I like the "Hide the kid" option. It has huge potential.

[Jonny]

send him a pretty critical email

the fuck kind of passive aggressive Bullshit is that? be a man jesus


Problem?
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9Jd3QRSN-I...2Bdrinking.jpg

[Mytiwar]

Pretty sure I'm not the only one wondering that, who is this chick and why is she everywhere on the interwebs

[Jonny]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Caylee_Anthony

[miokomioko]

who is this chick and why is she everywhere on the interwebs

I think you just defined "under a rock."

Also, who gets surgery for a kidney stone. You take pain meds for a day or two and piss that shit out.

[Xno Kappa]

Wait, hold the fuck up. You got pissed so you sent him an email? Lmao.

[archibaldcrane]

The fact that your original post said absolutely nothing about your sister, the child's mother, tells us pretty much everything we need to know about this dumb fucking situation and your lack of understanding about how to improve it.