Relationship Survey

[Arelian]

For my Sociology final, we have to perform a survey and then take those results and put them into a paper. I ask you, BG, to help me in performing this survey by filling out a two questions.

1) Do you consider it "right" for a person between the ages of 18-20 to enter a relationship with a person between the ages of 16-17?

Answer yes/no, with your reasoning behind your response.


2) What, in your opinion, is the acceptable age difference between two peoples that are in a relationship?

Give the age difference, and again, your reasoning behind thinking this.


Thanks for the help and the responses!

[Tricen]

Age is a number. Mentality is what should be looked at. As long as they love each other, and either of them is not being harmed in any way shape or form then it's fine.

[Foustian]

Age is a number. Mentality is what should be looked at. As long as they love each other, and either of them is not being harmed in any way shape or form then it's fine.

Pretty much my exact sentiments.

[Kuya]

In my opinion people from the age of 16 to 20 are ok. From my experience most people don't vary much in mentality around that age. You only really start seing some maturity around the age of 23-25. Or at least make special rules for when you have a person near sead age of limit. For example, letting an 18 year old be with a 17 year old. The age diference there is so negligeble it's ridicules to even prosecute someone for it.

And the acceptable age limit varies in my opinion. For example, after the age of 25, it really should not be that much of a problem for some, say 50 year old to be with a 25 year old. After a few years into the twenties, even though people will change throughout the years, both should be responsible and fully conscious adults to carry a respectable and stable relationship. And as for the teens, it is sort of funny, but i've seen 12 year olds match wits with 16-17 year olds. People from 15 to 19 really don't impress me much when it comes to maturity and intelligence, so i don't feel the need to create such a chasm in relationships there. To me 12-18 is acceptable.

Edit: Regardless, age is such a shoddy way to regulate relationships, seing as how people vary widly with their mentality/maturity, but hey, what can you do.

[RakEx]

I agree with the above, however, not when a minor is involved. So my answer would then be:

1) Yes and No? Depending on the state laws.

2)

Age is a number. Mentality is what should be looked at. As long as they love each other, and either of them is not being harmed in any way shape or form then it's fine.

Except for when a minor is involved. Again, depending on state law.

[Fhqwghads]

Laws or not, an 18 dating a 16 year old should be fine. 19 and 16 year old too. 20 and 16 year old? Starting to cross the line on that one.

Past that, it completely depends on the state of mind for the people involved. I'm much older than my girlfriend, but hell I still play video games and act like a 20-something, so we work very well together.

[Correction]

Once you have graduated from high school, you should look elsewhere for dates.

[Tricen]

I agree with the above, however, not when a minor is involved. So my answer would then be:

1) Yes and No? Depending on the state laws.

2)

Age is a number. Mentality is what should be looked at. As long as they love each other, and either of them is not being harmed in any way shape or form then it's fine.

Except for when a minor is involved. Again, depending on state law.

I'm not taking law into consideration. I know what state law is. Although I do believe there has to be a line drawn somewhere, and it is.

[Andarvi]

Once you have graduated from high school, you should look elsewhere for dates.

Bout time someone said it. Unless you are dating while in high school and one graduates and goes off to college before the other, the two should not mix. A lot changes between a senior in high school and a freshman in college. You realize the petty things people make dramatic in high school become far less an issue when your peers are between the ages 18-22 instead of 15-18. In my opinion, in most cases, anytime a college guy pursues a high school girl he wants some pussy. Not saying this doesnt happen a lot in college as well, but many more relationships come out of high schooler to high schooler and college student to college student than the two crowds mixing.

To the guys who say 16-20 is alright, would you let your sophmore/junior in high school daughter date a sophmore/junior in college? Just curious.

[Nyanoh]

For my Sociology final, we have to perform a survey and then take those results and put them into a paper. I ask you, BG, to help me in performing this survey by filling out a two questions.

1) Do you consider it "right" for a person between the ages of 18-20 to enter a relationship with a person between the ages of 16-17?

Answer yes/no, with your reasoning behind your response.


2) What, in your opinion, is the acceptable age difference between two peoples that are in a relationship?

Give the age difference, and again, your reasoning behind thinking this.


Thanks for the help and the responses!

My answer = 16 + 20 = No. 17+18 = Yes.

You need to understand why authorities try to separate 16 year olds from 20 year olds. 4 years is not an extreme under any other circumstance besides the first 20 years of your life. The reason is all behind human development - and where you are in the social chain during these developments. 16 year olds are generally still in High School, where there are people ("authorities", teachers profressors counsellors, etc) who are responsible for them. 20 year olds are generally out of high school and should be on the road to college/work/more adult-like responsibilities.

Most people in authority would find it odd (socially deviating) if a 20 year old is looking for something from a 16 year old. That something is more often than not sex, which results in pretty serious decision making that they shouldn't need to make.

That's not to say it's always the case, but it's always the cases we hear about it.

A relationship that's all about sex = who the fuck cares about age (the mothers of underage kids do, that's who!) But beyond that, I don't understand how a 16 + 20 year old could be equal in any mental relationship.

A relationship between 17+18/19 seems more viable given that they are probably very close in development. High school, going onto college, having to deal with huge future-altering decisions, etc etc. They'd be on a more equal mental plane and have much more than just sex to give to each other.

Thats just my take, what I learned from my Sociology classes.

GL!

[Edit]

What it basically comes down to is where you are in life, and how much you can give to your partner. Being 16, there isn't much you SHOULD give, I mean, there's all these things you should do for yourself first. So dating outside a 1-2 year difference is kind of dangerous. The older you get, the more you expect from someone: spiritually, mentally and physically. At 16, I doubt any 1 person is completely settled enough to give of themselves while at the same time continue grow down a healthy path.

Once someone enters an adult-type life (It's hard to give an age - I've seen more adult like 23 year olds than 29 year olds who still live in their parents basement). But judging on age and age alone, I'd group them into categories of where an average person is in their lifetime.

16-19 = High school
19-25 = Post-secondary
25-30 = Early independence, early family
30-50 = Routine boring adult shit
50+ = Seniors year

Relationships that stay within their "group" can generally expect the same amount of energy mentally, phyically and spiritually.

THATS NOT TO SAY that people who have partners that jump from group to group can't have a great and ever-lasting relationship. This is just what I've observed, based on --age-- alone.

=) I hope this helped at all.

[kuronosan]

1) Do you consider it "right" for a person between the ages of 18-20 to enter a relationship with a person between the ages of 16-17?

I consider it perfectly normal and acceptable, yes. As long as both people are of the same maturity level. What do you do if you're 17 and you meet a 15 year old in high school? Then you turn 18 and graduate. Are you supposed to break up just because you suddenly turned a different age?


2) What, in your opinion, is the acceptable age difference between two peoples that are in a relationship?

I'd say there are diminishing returns in this equation. Before 18, I would say 3 years is acceptable. At about 24, I'd say 6 years is acceptable. I believe this simply because of maturity gaps present in both age demographics... and because past 24, most are out of college and none usually possess the same mentality after experience in college and the relationship you form there... so most men don't look for immature, high school level women.

[layoneil]

1) Do you consider it "right" for a person between the ages of 18-20 to enter a relationship with a person between the ages of 16-17?

Answer yes/no, with your reasoning behind your response.

20 and 16 is pushing it, everything else in that age range is perfectly fine, they're not that different at that age.

2) What, in your opinion, is the acceptable age difference between two peoples that are in a relationship?

Give the age difference, and again, your reasoning behind thinking this.

21+ can't date under 18, both parties above 21 it doesn't matter.

---

To the guys who say 16-20 is alright, would you let your sophmore/junior in high school daughter date a sophmore/junior in college? Just curious.

at the extreme ends, HS sophomore and college junior probably not, but a HS junior with a college sophomore is not that much of a stretch. i've had my share of meeting people that went to college when i was a junior (not that i dated any college girls than).

[Kuya]

To the guys who say 16-20 is alright, would you let your sophmore/junior in high school daughter date a sophmore/junior in college? Just curious.

20-16 is pushing it of course, but i'd consider how the guy is like first before rejecting anything. Of course, i also don't see the relationship lasting very long.

[Remyo]

It's rare to find a sub 18 yr old that I find attractive passed looks. It truns into a personal dilemma as well when there is a large age gap.

[Masterofshade]

I'm not personally big on telling people what to thing, or how to treat eachother (for the most part), particularly in regards to how one person feels about another.

Question #1: I'm 21, and have dated a 17yr old. It was freaking lame, and while I had a great time hanging with her, she was too immature, too confused about who she was as a person, and insecure about her personality. It didn't work (although we still chat). I could see a 17yr old who wasn't that way, and maybe form some kind of real relationship. So, drop both ages down a year, and you have 16-20. I think as far as legality, 18 should be the cut off, with a 3yr gap being ok (i.e. 19 with a 16, 3yrs apart, but 16-20 not legal). Just as far as legality. When it comes to just how people are together, with her dynamic... as long as you match up, go for it. I've personally matched up with a woman over a decade older, and things were great.

Question #2: Kinda went over it above, but as far as older than 20, once again as long as 2 people have a healthy dynamic, it should be fine. 25yr olds with 60yr olds is bullshit, it's just a pussy<=>money dynamic. However I can see a late 30s and late20s working out great, if there are both mature, and form a positive relationship. I'd say, 15yr gap between 2 people that are both over 20 is the max, as I can see it.

[Remyo]

afaik there are no legal restrictions on "dating", only when it comes to sex or taking a minor across state lines. I see 0 weirdness in a 20 yr old "dating" a 16 yr old, only when it would come to sex then it enters a new territory.

[Fuja]

1) Do you consider it "right" for a person between the ages of 18-20 to enter a relationship with a person between the ages of 16-17?

Answer yes/no, with your reasoning behind your response.


2) What, in your opinion, is the acceptable age difference between two peoples that are in a relationship?

Give the age difference, and again, your reasoning behind thinking this.

1) Yeah, as long as they're both mature enough age doesn't really matter. Besides where I come from the legal age for having sex is 16, so for me it's prefectly normal.

2) Again maturity has everything to do with it and age shouldn't be a boundary if they feel strongly for each other. From personal experience 10+ years can work out if you both want it to.

[Deejay]

afaik there are no legal restrictions on "dating", only when it comes to sex or taking a minor across state lines. I see 0 weirdness in a 20 yr old "dating" a 16 yr old, only when it would come to sex then it enters a new territory.

What is the point of "dating" anyway? So you guys can become life-long friends who play checkers and go to Arby's every Friday or so you can get to know her well enough to have sex?

[Chastiti]

1) Do you consider it "right" for a person between the ages of 18-20 to enter a relationship with a person between the ages of 16-17?

I think from my own personal experiences, that people from the ages of 16-20 are still growing, still changing and still figuring out what they want out of life, a partner and that idea changes very often at those ages. The obvious 18/17 is okay for dating, people have birthdays and you're not always going to be the same age. However, 20 and 17 is even pushing it a little for me. The way I see it, when you graduate high school, stop looking for dates there. The majority of this age group anyway is just trying to get laid, so do it with people on your own level.

2) What, in your opinion, is the acceptable age difference between two peoples that are in a relationship?

In high school, it shouldn't be more than 1-2 years, because you're growing up and changing so fast. You have no idea what you want anyway, but when it comes to say a freshman (14) dating a senior (18) then someone's just going to get pressured into doing something they don't want to do, etc. Once you've grown a matured a little, the boundaries are open. You can't put a specific, it's okay to date if you're x number of years apart. You have to figure out what works for you and after you're 21-25ish, you're pretty much capable of doing whoever you want whether they're 21 or 65.

[Remyo]

afaik there are no legal restrictions on "dating", only when it comes to sex or taking a minor across state lines. I see 0 weirdness in a 20 yr old "dating" a 16 yr old, only when it would come to sex then it enters a new territory.

What is the point of "dating" anyway? So you guys can become life-long friends who play checkers and go to Arby's every Friday or so you can get to know her well enough to have sex?

can I not have arbys and sex?