Woman problems BG Help!

[Wakabo]

Scroll down for tldr;

Oh great BG guru's of love and sex, I have come to ask for help. This girl who I was dating for 2.5 years have decided to break up back on Dec. 18th. The reason we did was I wanted her to be happy, and she had started to feel the "butterfly" feelings for this guy she works with. She said something along the lines that she is 18 and wants to date other people to figure out who she wants to be with in life so I respected that.

Yesterday, Christmas-eve, her and I were planning to hang out after she got off work if this guy she felt feelings for didn't go hang out with his friends. I said it was fine, and she told me she would be home around 9 so it made me feel better that she wasn't going to be out late with him. She asked her parents also if it would be alright to go out, but she said she was with me... not with this other guy. When she told me that I got a bit upset and texted her later that night saying I didn't like how she used me for that and she replied with a guilt message so I just let her know to not do it again.

Well 9 rolls around and she texts me saying she went to dinner and now at a coffee shop with him. I get a little upset that she wasn't home. 10 I get another text saying she was still at the coffee shop. I told her to be happy and left it at that. Now when it comes 12, I call her phone 3-5 times in a row thinking she isn't hearing it on vibrate or something but she does not pick up. 12:30 She picks up and I say "Where you been? I thought you were going to be home around 9." She said sorry, but she just got home a little bit ago and was going to call me back in a second. Well 10 minutes go by so I called her sister and asked if she was home, and she wasn't. I called her phone a few more times and was getting frustrated at this point because if something happens to her, her parents think she is with me at this point, and I know she isn't with me and with another guy.

About 1:15 she calls me and I get pissed at her and told her she lied to me about being home early and actually being home. She tries to tell me that its the only way she could hang out with the guy but I go on to say that if she just introduce the guy to her family and let him in slowly, they will be fine with it. But no, she was at the coffee shop and then went to HIS house. I mean really. What if she was beaten and her parents didn't know where she was, didn't have this guys contact information, and don't even know what this guy looks like. That pissed me off the most right there. I don't want to be her father and I am not her boyfriend anymore but what the fuck. I stayed up waiting for her and find out that she was at his house for quite a while with him and his friends. I don't know if I could believe that much but she claims to been there watching videos with him. She tells me that when she was getting out of the car he leaned in for a kiss and she was going to give him one on the cheek but it ended up on the lips. I am a jealous guy so I get frustrated to my self when I find out.

So here I am confused as fuck. I am not talking to her now, but I said I was going to let her dad know because I don't want to lose his trust and also I want her to be safe and stop hiding things like that from her parents. I care a lot about this girl but when she cries and says that her life is now ruined if I tell her father, I feel like I would be doing the right thing but she would hate me.

What I am trying to figure out right now is, do I tell her father, or keep it a secret and tell her to be honest with her parents and introduce the guy and let them know they have an interest in each other. Right now I want to spill the beans, but I am not the guy to use it as a threat or milk it for anything. I need help on what it is I should do : ( I love the girl still and that is a problem.


tldr;

Ex-gf of 1 week goes out on the night with this guy after week we been dating. she been interested so i broke up with her so she can have freedom of other men instead of going behind my back. She tells her parents excuse she is with me and then doesn't come home until late at night. Ends up going to the guys house and watching videos with friends and him [suposibly] and then lied to me on phone about already being home when she wasnt.

Tell parents? Yes no maybe?

Post troll comments all you want but a real post will help too.

[Abandon]

None of your business unless her parents come to you asking. She's an ex, so fuck it. If parents ask, tell. If they don't, don't. However, if this goes on and she keeps using you, blast them with truth.

[Suiram]

1. You are telling yourself that snitching to her parents is the right thing to do, but really that's your inner vindictive fuck trying to get back at her for breaking up with you. Don't be a bitch.

2. This girl broke up with you and now is taking advantage by using you as a shield to her parents to date other guys. Be a man and tell her that you guys are broken up and you don't owe her anything, and not to ever do that again (and that if she does it again and her parents ask you won't lie for her).

3. Since she's 18, I figure you're about the same age. Go out with other girls. Don't date any of them for longer than 3 months. Don't try to restart anything with this one, even if she seems like she wants to. Do this for a few years and you should have things figured out well enough that you won't need advice from BG.

Merry Christmas.

[Wakabo]

Fuck Yeah 19 right now till march. I hate the fact I have strong feelings for her and think that blasting the truth could possibly win her back by default but I rather she want me back. Then again I should try to talk with other women more often now. Tried to avoid it just so that I would stay honest with her, but I suppose it doesn't matter now.

Merry Christmas to you too :D and all of BG.

[Draggy]

It it were me I would just let them know somehow that you broke up. That way you're not telling them she is out with another guy, yet they probably wont believe her excuse of being out with you.

[Wakabo]

It it were me I would just let them know somehow that you broke up. That way you're not telling them she is out with another guy, yet they probably wont believe her excuse of being out with you.

Should I let them know it was on Dec. 18th? or just say it was recently.

[Abandon]

doesn't matter, rofl. You're broken up, so she has no reason to be with you all night.

[Wakabo]

Another thing is, I use to date other women before this one and then when we stop dating, I never speak a word to them again. I forget it ever happened and continue on. This girl still wants me to come around so that she doesn't lose the relationship I have with her parents and her younger sliblings. This just another way she can use me or what? Right now I feel blind to almost anything to be honest.

[Abandon]

She broke up but doesn't wanna let people find out? Crazy bitch, run.

[Draggy]

Dont say when just say you broke up. And yeah, if you broke up, why keep hanging out? I dont get that. Its almost if she just wants to have a bit of fun with guy and then she can just come back to you when she is bored.

[Rocl]

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one.

But really going out of your way to expose her is a bit of a dick move, if her parents snoop around, why should you lie? Oh boo hoo you have these feelings for her, obviously she doesn't reciprocate them so move on.

As for the whole wanting to keep the relationship with her family or whatever, if you want to hang out with her siblings, parents, whatever, do so. Just know there's gonna be that awkward time when you have to come out and be like "Yo, I don't even date your daughter Mr. D, we broke up forever ago, you didn't know?" Not really certain why you'd keep a relationship with her family but \('-'*) Don't let rule your life, that's rule #1 of not being a bitchass.

[Velgadess]

Abandon and Suriam covered it pretty much. sounds like shes moved on. you need to cut off all contact and move on yourself. go hang with friends, do other shit. etc etc dont tell but if she pulls that shit again, let her parents know. dont be a doormat.

I went thru a similar situation when I was 18-19. not near as bad as you. we dated for about 1.5yrs while in high school/college but the ex-girlfriend moved in and lived with me for a few months. dating "bad boys" using me as a cover-up to her entire family. not just parents but aunts, uncles, grandparents. etc etc. making her come off as the "good little girl". and yea, I was in love too. young and stupid, went along with the whole charade.

after a 4-5 months of lying and covering for her. got fed up and tossed her and her shit out the door one day. strangely enough 10 yrs go by and we are good friends now. she tells me to this day she regrets how shit went down back in the day and if she knew how stuff was gonna be, it woulda been different. (shes got 2 kids and is unhappy with the guy she's with now) I know not all girls are like this but at that young age I dont know what it is but rarely wanna be tied down.

[Wakabo]

Bah. I knew that's how I should done it in the first place and just left her alone completely. well I will try to get a little fun out of it and then move on my self. Who knows when the next BJ will be

[Akanei]

Ditch the bitch. Let her parents know you ditched the bitch.

That's all that needs to be said and done on the matter.

Edit: No "because"s, no reasoning, just say you're out.

[Suiram]

Bah. I knew that's how I should done it in the first place and just left her alone completely. well I will try to get a little fun out of it and then move on my self. Who knows when the next BJ will be

If by "get a little fun out of it," you mean to reveal (overtly or covertly) to her parents that she lied about tonight, then that's not moving on, that's being stuck in the mindset of being her jealous boyfriend and it reflects poorly on you.

If you just mean fuck her occasionally, then that's fine as long as the amount of time you have to spend with her for that to happen doesn't interfere with you meeting other people, and that you make it clear that there's no way you two are ever getting back together. Although it sounds like you might not be in the frame of mind to pull that off. Her wanting you to continue hanging around with her family, while probably partly in order to maintain the ruse with her parents, is likely also in part to retain you as a fallback in case seeing other people doesn't work out. The tone of your original post indicates that you would probably be susceptible to being manipulated into that position, even if you may want to tell yourself you're a badass with no feelings.

[Xno Kappa]

Do what I did in a similar situation at that age. I fucked her sister, some of her friends, and tried my very best with her mother. Needless to say, she didn't come at me for shit afterwards.

[Rocl]

Bonus points if her sister is 16 or under.

[Wakabo]

If by "get a little fun out of it," you mean to reveal (overtly or covertly) to her parents that she lied about tonight, then that's not moving on, that's being stuck in the mindset of being her jealous boyfriend and it reflects poorly on you.

If you just mean fuck her occasionally, then that's fine as long as the amount of time you have to spend with her for that to happen doesn't interfere with you meeting other people, and that you make it clear that there's no way you two are ever getting back together. Although it sounds like you might not be in the frame of mind to pull that off. Her wanting you to continue hanging around with her family, while probably partly in order to maintain the ruse with her parents, is likely also in part to retain you as a fallback in case seeing other people doesn't work out. The tone of your original post indicates that you would probably be susceptible to being manipulated into that position, even if you may want to tell yourself you're a badass with no feelings.

Mainly it is to get a few more moments of pleasure before her and this guy actually start to date if it happens. Once that starts I might try to do a little sexual thing with her every so often, but soon I can see it dying off. For now I will try to enjoy it :3

Do what I did in a similar situation at that age. I fucked her sister, some of her friends, and tried my very best with her mother. Needless to say, she didn't come at me for shit afterwards.

Sister is big, and her mom is hot. I would do her mom any second I could if it was possible, but if her dad found out... it was nice knowing you all

[Arrmani]

You know, almost the exact same thing happened to me. Ex lied about what she was doing when I wanted to hang out with her to be nice, then tells me she slept with a guy a few days ago, last night.

We decided not to see each other but were going to wait until after Christmas because of our families doing stuff for each other, but that's not the kind of girl I thought she was. I guess it hurts because I thought she cared more than that. It sucks 'cause now I get to tell my family why she isn't coming, but its whatever I guess.

[Wakabo]

You know, almost the exact same thing happened to me. Ex lied about what she was doing when I wanted to hang out with her to be nice, then tells me she slept with a guy a few days ago, last night.

We decided not to see each other but were going to wait until after Christmas because of our families doing stuff for each other, but that's not the kind of girl I thought she was. I guess it hurts because I thought she cared more than that. It sucks 'cause now I get to tell my family why she isn't coming, but its whatever I guess.

My family was a large reason she didn't want to stay with me is what she says. Mom is a bitch, and sorta showed it to her. Dad is quiet and likes her. Oldest brother only liked her for cooking/playing video games [she loved final fantasy ;; ...] Second oldest brother was a dick to her. Third oldest was odd to her. Younger sister was two faced and was nice to her but tried to get her to pay for a lot of things.


There was other things to lead up to a break up and things that made the relationship really great and wonderful but that is off topic :3